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Open Letter: How Can We Break Up Without Me Having To Tell You?

Confessions November 15, 2009

[My mother unearthed several boxes of letters from my childhood. I have no clue why they were saved, but what's mine is yours. And if there is one thing more ridiculous than my current life, it would have to be all the time leading up to my current life. Hence, I started writing about these [...]

So I Fell Asleep In A Few Bible Classes

Relationships November 4, 2009

“The magic of first love is our ignorance that it will never end.” You know I thought boys had cooties til I was about 17, right? Up until that point, I viewed them only as despicable creatures sent to this earth as God’s punishment to Eve. It’s possible I fell asleep in a few Bible [...]

40 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

We Can’t Even Afford Boxed Wine

Confessions October 19, 2009

Last November I received an early Christmas present. And I want you to know that I’m currently fighting the urge to chase the rabbit trail topic that is “the Holidays” …even though that rabbit happens to be a big, fluffy, white one that I’m very attracted to. I’m doing this for you, because I realize [...]

44 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Why I Hate Women: Part 6 of 7,893

Confessions October 8, 2009

[ In case you missed the first installment, please check out Why I Hate Women: Let Me Count The Ways and then because I got equal amounts of hater/lover responses to said blog, please check out my rebuttal entitled: Dear Haters, Why Do You Love Me So Much? ] I guess hate is very strong [...]

69 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Fievel Goes West: Substitute Fievel For Blunt

Confessions September 30, 2009

[written whilst in the middle of the desert] Well. If it wasn’t confirmed by my first trip to New Mexico four years ago, it is definitely a fact that I am allergic to the Southwest. My body has rejected it in every possible way. Not in the same way it rejects mayonnaise, but in the [...]

29 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Commitment: The Fire Breathing Dragon That Eludes Me

Confessions September 22, 2009

It’s fall. If you reside in an area of the country [I like to refer to it as God's favorite] where you experience the change of seasons, then you understand the sheer elation I’m feeling at this very moment as I put on an extremely worn-in hoody [the kind that barely keeps you warm anymore [...]

38 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Open Letter: Dear Liar Liar, Your Pants Are Burnt To A Crisp

Confessions August 28, 2009

My life began in a unicorn-filled meadow, where I was fed cinnamon rolls for dinner and had sweet dreams of hot pink, glitter-filled balloons. The only thing I remember getting in trouble for was not finishing a satisfying amount of cinnamon rolls by my mother’s standard-a burden which nearly broke me. But it was my unlikely cross to bear. Each night, I painted the neighborhood [...]

38 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Open Letter: Rejection At Its Finest

Confessions August 14, 2009

As a young and awkward child, I was painfully shy and introverted. Maybe it was my jacked up teeth. Perhaps it was the acne. Or my untameable, frizzy hair before I discovered straighteners or anything other than Pert Plus. It could have been tragic the ankle-length skirts and turtlenecks enforced by my private school dress code. There’s no way [...]

54 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

You Big, Fat, Fake Smart Person

Confessions July 22, 2009

Speaking of things I collect, I may have mentioned it briefly in the masterpiece entitled How To Live The Best Fake Life You Can Imagine, or several times thereafter, that I collect books. I don’t read them, as much as I like to give the impression that I do, while underhandedly using them strictly for decorating props. I [...]

43 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Don’t Matter If You’re Black Or White – Just Pick One

Confessions June 29, 2009

No, this isn’t a tribute to Michael Jackson. Hi, you must be new here. Pleasure to meet you; although I hate the word “pleasure” and refuse to use it accept over internet introductions. As mentioned, last Thursday was my much unanticipated and begrudged birthday. Although I didn’t exactly get what I wanted - which was another year of [...]

41 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

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