Really? Did I just have to throw around the “R” word to get your attention? That’s sad. Sad because I have been gone for so long that I feel like I have to throw a dramatic title at you in order to peak your interest, and sad because that just might be true. Well, joke is on you [...]

[My mother unearthed several boxes of letters from my childhood. I have no clue why they were saved, but what's mine is yours. And if there is one thing more ridiculous than my current life, it would have to be all the time leading up to my current life.  Hence, I created the Open Letters [...]

[Again, my absence is alarming.  To roughly sum it up: new job, photo shoots, writing jobs, sinus infection, best friend's dad had a heart attack, family issues, personal issues, etc. I haven't even put up my Christmas decorations, that is how distracted I've been. If you know me, then you know that means I'm about [...]

It’s fall. If you reside in an area of the country [I like to refer to it as God's favorite] where you experience the change of seasons, then you understand the sheer elation I’m feeling at this very moment as I put on an extremely worn-in hoodie [the kind that barely keeps you warm anymore cus [...]

My life began in a unicorn-filled meadow, where I was fed cinnamon rolls for dinner and had sweet dreams of hot pink, glitter-filled balloons.  The only thing I remember getting in trouble for was not finishing a satisfying amount of cinnamon rolls by my mother’s standard-a burden which nearly broke me.  But it was my unlikely cross to bear.  Each night, I painted the neighborhood [...]

As a young and awkward child, I was painfully shy and introverted.  Maybe it was my jacked up teeth.  Perhaps it was the acne.  Or my untameable, frizzy hair before I discovered straighteners or anything other than Pert Plus.  It could have been tragic the ankle-length skirts and turtlenecks enforced by my private school dress code. There’s no way of [...]

I realize you’ve missed me, but please don’t let this hurt take a turn to Bittertown okay?  I can’t deal with that kind of drama right now.  I’m currently babysitting my best friend’s 6 month old.  Yes, the same best friend who pumps breast milk in my car and leaves it in my fridge, okay?  [...]

I have never, nor will I ever return my cart to the cart corral. Is that what they’re called?  There’s a more than staggering chance that at some point, your car has been side-swiped by a cart that I’ve left wandering aimlessly throughout the parking lot.  But with the economy the way it is and unemployment [...]

So I had a crush.  A big one.  I remember, it was third grade… and it was bad.  To keep things easy and confidential we’ll call him Norm.  Not to imply, by any means, that this young lad was normal… because he was not.  This is also not to imply that he was anything special… because he [...]

I’m feeling rather nostalgic tonight.  And nothing good ever comes from that. As I was sitting here wondering why Moccasins haven’t tried to make a comeback this summer, I got to thinking about my past relationships.  Was there a common thread that linked these terrible relationships?  Was I the worst judge of character ever to walk the [...]

It’s no wonder I don’t make any sense.  I’m a combination of two polar opposites, who by all rights, should never have met much less married.   My mother came from a nazi-strict household where she wasn’t allowed to see movies or go to fooball games, for fear she would encounter Satan himself.  She also wasn’t allowed to celebrate Christmas which explains why [...]

I have problems.  Many, actually.  But we have bigger fish to fry.  You wanna know who has bigger problems than me?  Creeptowns.   On my old blog, I wrote a few warnings about Creeptowns, which I haven’t yet incorporated into this website.  But this is a matter so dear, so close to my heart, that I cannot bear [...]

So, I’m laying in my bed working. …I’m also eating lasagna that is scorched on the bottom and ice cold on the top because my microwave is still on the fritz and I had to try to reheat it in a pan on the stove, which doesn’t work quite as swimmingly as I’d anticipated.  …I’m also contemplating whether or not [...]