work

[ DISCLAIMER: Blunt Bites break away from my normal, detailed laugh-out-loud (right?) posts. They are like snapshots of a significant part of my life. Sometimes, they're serious. Sometimes, they're funny. But they're always gonna be delicious. Yum. ]

It was my very first day of work, and you offered me some of your lunch even though you barely had enough to eat. Although it was a struggle to understand you through your thick accent, your laugh was desperately contagious. Your husband also worked at the same company. You would get so excited every time he walked by. I later discovered that you moved your family here from Poland to make a better life. You taught yourself English, graduated with honors, and moved to a tiny house down the street with your three kids and five relatives.

You always carried hot pink lipstick from the Dollar Store in your apron, and the only thing cheesier than your constant smile was the Harlequin romance novels you read every day on your break.

Five years later, I recognized your voice instantly when you called into the bank. I confirmed your name, but didn’t reveal who I was. I could sense that you had been crying. Your account was overdrawn because you had been trying to support your three kids on minimum wage ever since your husband and sisters had left for the grocery store and never returned. Two years had passed since then. You mentioned that you had just celebrated your 40th birthday by making a cake out of flour and water, then you started laughing just like you always did. As I was fighting back tears, I don’t know what alarmed me more: the tragedy of your circumstances or your positive attitude toward them. You responded, “As long as I still have a choice, I’d rather laugh than cry.”

Her name was Renee. I wish there were more of her in this world. She epitomized love. And she taught me more than high school.

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The September Of My Years [OR] Screw You January

Confessions September 3, 2010
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[Warning: introspection ahead. So, maybe there are a few things I've failed to mention over the past year. So, maybe I'm mentioning them now.] Seriously, screw January. And all of its dreary, pretend optimism. Here’s the deal: New Years happens in January is because it gives people a shred of hope amid what seems to be an eternal, bleak [...]

21 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

How To Avoid Awkward Encounters On Your Birthday

Confessions June 29, 2010
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Question: Why wear the world’s most unflattering, horizontal-striped dress on your birthday? Answer: So that you have something even more upsetting than your birthday to focus on. Another viable reason could be because it slightly entirely resembles The Hamburglar. Cus isn’t that what birthdays kind of are? One giant Hamburglar, sneaking up on you to steal another year? This year has [...]

29 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

We Can’t Even Afford Boxed Wine

Confessions October 19, 2009
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Last November I received an early Christmas present. And I want you to know that I’m currently fighting the urge to chase the rabbit trail topic that is “the Holidays” …even though that rabbit happens to be a big, fluffy, white one that I’m very attracted to.  I’m doing this for you, because I realize [...]

44 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Chances Are, I’m A Pervert

Confessions August 1, 2009
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Today, while at a routine stop at the Goodwill, I put these three items on the counter.  They were exactly what I was looking for. We don’t have the time nor resources to get into the logistics of exactly why I needed this combination of items, but one could assume that I’m a third degree pervert who is [...]

28 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Why I Hate Women: Oh Let Me Count The Ways

Confessions May 6, 2009
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As usual, I couldn’t sleep. I ended up watching a classic movie called Penny Serenade.  You know, black & white. Cary Grant. Some prude who never takes off her apron and always buttons her shirt to the top. I have two words for this movie: lame. I realize that classic movies are supposed to be [...]

287 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery