I’m writing this post at 8:00 am on a Monday. That alone, is reason enough for your undivided attention. And utmost adoration. And applause. Wow. That was a lot of words that begin with A. Lately, I’ve been trying to post more. I know, I know, ‘Do or do not, there is no try.’ But you know what? There is also [...]

Question: Why wear the world’s most unflattering, horizontal-striped dress on your birthday? Answer: So that you have something even more upsetting than your birthday to focus on. Another viable reason could be because it slightly entirely resembles The Hamburglar. Cus isn’t that what birthdays kind of are? One giant Hamburglar, sneaking up on you to steal another year? This year has been interesting. My career [...]

Last November I received an early Christmas present. And I want you to know that I’m currently fighting the urge to chase the rabbit trail topic that is “the Holidays” …even though that rabbit happens to be a big, fluffy, white one that I’m very attracted to.  I’m doing this for you, because I realize [...]

Today, while at a routine stop at the Goodwill, I put these three items on the counter.  They were exactly what I was looking for.  We don’t have the time nor resources to get into the logistics of exactly why I needed this combination of items, but one could assume that I’m a third degree pervert who is [...]

Several years ago, I received a book in the mail on my birthday.  I hate birthdays, but I love books.  So you can imagine my elation, when I discovered that I’d have a new addition, which I would never read, to adorn my shelf.  To fully understand this concept, please read my explanation on How To Live The Best Fake Life You Can [...]

As usual, I couldn’t sleep. I ended up watching a classic movie.  You know, black and white… Cary Grant…  some painfully prudish woman, who never takes off her apron and high heels.  And let me tell you something: it sucked.  Hardcore. I know that saying you like to drink coffee and watch “old movies” on a [...]