As usual, I couldn’t sleep. I ended up watching a classic movie called Penny Serenade. You know, black & white. Cary Grant. Some prude who never takes off her apron and always buttons her shirt to the top.
I have two words for this movie: lame.
I realize that classic movies are supposed to be the height of Hollywood glamor and awesomeness, but man, they suck. Hardcore. Total snoozefest. I’d rather watch a Matthew McConaughey chick flick. But you know what? I think I’ll keep it on my shelf so people can still think of me as one of those people who appreciates old movies. As a matter of fact, I’ll set it right next to my antique copy of War & Peace that I’m not even going to pretend that I’ve ever cracked open, which looks great right next to my vintage camera that I’ve never used.
This conversation naturally makes me think of other things that I dislike: women.
When I think back on it, women really haven’t changed all that much since elementary school, when I’d come home and burst out into the ugly cry over something a mean girl did. I was hoping that when I got past college, they would stabilize. Nope. Still crazy. Although the reasons behind the craziness may have changed with time, they are still, very much, crazy. Hating other women for no good reason. Asking their boyfriends the world’s most stupid questions. Flipping out on poor unsuspecting men. Bursting with ravenous jealousy. I can’t even count how many women I’ve been told that hate me, that have never actually talked to me.
Let’s look at a few demonstrations of female behavior over the past twenty years of my life.
[4th GRADE: the betrayals begin]
Me: Hey Annie, wanna come over tonight and we can organize our sticker collections? [Yes, we really had them]
Annie: Um, actually, I’m going to Becky’s house after school. Oh, I don’t think I told you that we had a talk and she wants to be “secret best friends” with JUST me. Isn’t that mean?
Me: Psssh! YEA! I thought we were all best friends?
Annie: Yea, but she wants to leave you out.
Me: Well you told her that was a stupid, crappy idea, right?
Annie: Well, actually…um…. we ARE secret best friends now. Just her and I.
Me: UM, so I see that our three-way best friend NECKLACES mean nothing to you! Huh? You lying, backstabbing, dirty little tramp!
[10th GRADE: the unwarranted hatred and jealousy begin]
Friend: [leaning in so close to me that I'm forced inside my locker] Amber doesn’t like you!
Me: What? Wait. Who the heck is Amber?
Friend: The girl who hangs out with Margie.
Me: I don’t even know her.
Friend: But she’s totally spreading rumors about you!
Me: What? Rumors? But why?
Friend: Well, she likes Andy. But Andy likes you.
Me: Ok. But how can I help THAT? Besides, I wouldn’t date Andy in a million bagillion years.
Friend: Well. She’s pissed. And she’s telling everyone you’re a spoiled beotch!
Me: Spoiled? That isn’t even kinda true. I work at Chuck E. Cheese and drive a 1964 Dodge?
[25 YEARS OLD: the false rumors and accusations begin]
Me: You know who I really like? Sandy. She’s so nice.
Co-worker: OH, that’s weird. Cus Sandy is not a fan of you.
Me: Not a fan?
Co-worker: I overheard her talking to someone, but I can’t say who. Anyway, she said that the boss favors you cus you got Employee of the Month again.
Me: But I out-performed everyone in the department? They would be breaking their own rules by not giving it to me.
Co-worker: Well I don’t know. That’s just what I overheard.
Me: What am I supposed to do? Suck at everything so Sandy will like me?
Co-worker: I’d try to stay on her good side if I were you. She’s telling everyone that you’re cheating on your boyfriend.
Me: WTF? I don’t even have a boyfriend.
As we can see, there is no rhyme, reason or logic going on here. And I’m not saying I hate all women. Just the ones who are ridiculous.
I have some fabulous lady friends.
OTHER PARTS TO THIS SERIES:
Why I Hate Women Part 7 of 8,964: Mind Warp Trivia
Why I Hate Women: Part 6 of 7,893
Dear Haters, Why Do You Love Me So Much?
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” Women are pathetic, too damn emotional and irrational. I recently met a girl i thought was different, turned out I was wrong. That’s all they do.. put on facades to trick us but in reality there are VERY few of them that aren’t mental and/or emotional train wrecks. ”
Exactly. Why do you think so few women can stand to be friends with one another!
As for the girl you thought was different, not all of us are putting on a facade.
Some of us realize we’re royally effed up and we’re trying to change. The problem is, when there’s so much crap to overcome, even a small improvement will look like nothing.
” I’ll admit I’m the nice guy too often… not anymore, after this bullshit I’m just treating women like crap. ”
I’m curious how this will work out for you, since some girls actually seem to like that..
“I can’t even count how many women I’ve been told that hate me, that have never actually talked to me.”
Relate. relate. relate.
I am 27 years old, writer (just like you!), always grew up shy, tall, white, fairly attractive according to boyfriend. There were times when other girlfriends (see? they are back-stabbing) would tell me things about not liking me when they first met me, etc, etc. The thing that pissed me off the most is my quietness and attractiveness (and one could say, inability to be fake) rubbed off on some girls the wrong way. Which is totally odd because I tried to be a really nice person, though quiet.
So needless to say, this has been an issue for me for some time. Today, it made me so mad that I typed in “why i hate women” and saw this post. Thank you for being honest and exposing this irrational nature. I suppose it’s comforting to know that bitchiness and jealousy often go hand in hand, but it still doesn’t make me feel better when girls act this way (I live in Scottsdale, btw – second only to LA when it comes to fake b*tches).
I should also qualify that older more experienced women don’t act this way, or at least not as much. I don’t mind them.
Thanks for letting me vent.
I’ve always said that women would rule the world if we weren’t such friggin’ biznitches.
And it’s true.
Katie @ Domestiphobia.net recently posted..If This Were A Status Update on Facebook, You Would Have Blocked Me By Now.
Hey, even women recognize their own kind suck. Fuckin’ mutants. They should be bred and sold like dogs and kept out of sight otherwise.
Bred like dogs? Have you looked at your own ‘kind’ you snivelling sad little person. What a pathetic excuse for a human you are to even say that! I hope your mother gets raped and then see how you feel about that dick head!
I hope all your children are born with down syndrom and your are raped for 10 years by a gorilla with aids.
I totally understand you brother. Just bring them out when needed, otherwise, keep them chained up.
I don’t really hate women, I’m just tired of being treated badly. I have been married for 25 years, We have stuck by each other through a lot of crap! But we are at a point where we are just two people sharing a house. She has told me for the past 25 years that if I felt like she told me to and did what she told me to do that everybody would be happy. I’m not allowed to have feelings of my own, I’m constantly reminded of the fact that she’s all ways right, and i’m all ways wrong because i’m a man. We have two sons who only treat me good when they want something, the rest of the time I’m the object of disrespect and ridicule. I’m not gay but I have been seriously wondering if I was, would a man treat me any better. This has nothing to do with sex! I just want to be treated like I matter, like I have some kind of worth, I’m tired of women treating me like i’m damaged just because I am a man. I look at the world and I don’t honestly see that your gender is the end all and be all of creation.
I have rarely had any true friends due to what I see as the competitive and bitchy nature of most women. They constantly dig for reasons to hate other women. You can’t be socially vulnerable around them. I learned that the hard way. One fellow mom in my neighborhood dug for past dirt on me. I blushed and she jumped to false conclusions. She spread rumors and the another neighbor and her teenage daughter walked past my house w/ their noses in the air. I developed a nervous social complex around women and compulsively wore a guilty look on my face. I stupidly explained my past tiny mistake (bj to a guy w/ gf, little flirting, lesbian encounter, 1 time fool around w/ separated guy…both were seeing other people). False rumors increased and now everyone knows and hates me. I have 2 sort of friends but all their friends hate me. and let me stress LOVE TO HATE AND ETERNALLY CONDEMN/OSTRACIZE. I don’t get it since I judge noone and if someone did confide in me about something big or small, past or present (my booboo was 17 years ago when i was 22 and single), I would never abandon or betray them.
I guess it’s about power. Their minds are too feeble to realize mistakes can happen and aren’t one-sided and people can go through odd growing pains, people do come from abusive backgrounds. People can quickly get better and be morally perfect forever. But really i think it’s all about power. Evil evil bitches. Die.
Women are a bunch of cunts! Need I say more??!
I totally agree. Women are so disgusting, especially those weepy, emotional ones. Can’t they just get a life and get out of mine?
@Beth: Way to go. You’ve solidified why most people who hate women feel the way they do–you talk too much and whine and turn everything into an issue about you. Bitch, vent, fish for compliments, try to make a short point but end up with a damn novelette. Score for your gender.
@Justin: Understand the sentiment, but that’s a bit extreme.
@Zach: Resolve to be a second-class citizen in your life and get some on the side. Or if it’s worth it to you, divorce her. After 25 years, you’ve put in your time.
@Juniper: Another one. What the hell are you talking about? You talk too much and you’re all over the place. Emotional and unfocused… you see where this is going, right?
@Ffff: Hell yeah.
Too bad emotions don’t pay bills or solve problems; women would run the world if they did.
I agree with everything you’ve written in this article – despite being in a serious relationship and enjoying it, I can’t help but despise a lot of women for their sheer manipulative and changeable characters. There are nice girls out there (luckily for me) but it really gets on my nerves when women:
– Suddenly get upset over nothing
– Claim that ‘there are no nice guys’ and use it as a quid pro quo to be complete bitches and sleep with the first guy they see, while they’re playing with a nice guy’s feelings.
– Constantly try to undermine a man’s confidence whilst changing at will to whiny and pathetic to get some sympathy.
– Refusing under ALL circumstances to admit that they are wrong. (OK, a lot of the time they are right.)
– Unbelievably annoying when they’re with their fellow gender. If they’re not insanely jealous and trying to destroy that girl’s self esteem, then they’re brazenly showing off to try and incite some war.
Now, women can be perfectly lovely. And its not that there aren’t guys out there who are complete idiots. But if they can’t be bothered to stick around and wait for the nice ones they don’t deserve to grovel for them once they’ve slept around with a couple of louts. Fair play.
really you guys, (and gals I guess, if you want to please your man) this is super nerdy, but the girls from anime and manga are the bomb. they are always submissive, and always cute, and no matter what, they are always horny. wether they admit it or not. unfortunately, this type of woman doesn’t exist in america. why? feminism. equality. rights. let me tell you women something. you cant handle having power, your mind is not capable. but, you get your way in this country. and you have power. and you do a shity job of handling it. if you would just submit, your life would be so much better. but you’re so obsessed with being equal. you would be much more glorified by men if you were different. dumb bitches. its not like you understand what I’m saying. I feel like I’m talking to a fucking animal. oh. I fucking am. I’m going to go get high.
I love atypical women; you know, like the ones that actually have a modicum of honor. There was once a man who referred to women as either doormats or goddesses. This sentiment led to him being charged as a womanizer, but honestly- how more right could he be? Being a goddess has nothing to do with looks, material, status, etc. Honor, ladies- get some.
This is really an interesting post. but the truth is that women are truly insane. It’s biological. Logic means nothing for a woman. In fact, many women have a device in their bathrooms which they hate called a scale. We know that they hate it because the step on it everyday and call it a liar even when the Know that it’s telling the truth. It’s the vanity of the fairer sex. They will all say that there are no nice guy when many of them have a nice guy for their second boyfriend. The primary one gets all the benefits and the secondary one gets the shit she knows the primary one doesn’t care about and would dump her in an instant if she started on with it. They are too needy. They say men only want one thing. What else are they good for?
My girlfriend is going to lunch with some other guy today, probably a nice guy. She keeps asking me if I’m jealous/upset and I just laugh at her. I don’t give a shit because I know women are retarded and never satisfied with anything. I literally feel sick just talking to them, ESPECIALLY in a crowded public place. It’s just awkward every time.
Men kill their brothers to become as rugs for women. Kill those men and kill most women. They are worthless, inbred maggots. They need to be done with. That’s the only way to stop them. Kill most women and the men who worship them. Fucking idiot men who worship a woman cause of her stupid looks. GODDAMN that’s stupid. The dumbest thing to do. What shallow fucks everywhere these dayz. You deprive other people of their life, you narcissistic cunts, that means you’ll die in fucked ways haha. I know you probably wanted to mock me for being a ‘geek’, hahahha. I’ll bite your babies heads off and wank. That ought to give you purpose hahahha. I’ll fuck your eyes with sandpaper you dumb whores. You hate everything, so you reap what you sow you cunts. You don’t want romance or love, so stop crying. You can’t respect. You deserve worse than torture and I’ll personally enjoy watching it and wanking to it. Fuck porn, there’s no love in porn. There’s more love of torture. I hope someone cuts your mother’s head off and sends it to your dad so he knows he was a fucking loser for marrying. You’re a loser too cause you probably want your dad to be tortured so you can wank with your dog, cause women love to fuck anything that moves. So do men, though not as much as women. Women just hide it better so they can piss on men’s faces and dance like fucking cunts, hopping around crying and screaming like little fucking dumb shitballs flopping around. Flop flop shit ball women. That’s how women appear to me, like shit balls. I’d find a fat ‘ugly’ women as beautiful if she mere accepted me. But fuck that, I’m Bi, I’ll take a guy any day. I’ll take a woman to be my clown, though.
Lol!
So lemme get this straight ok? Your a women who wanna fuck another women and is pissed of cuz cant find a normal women (like yourself!!!)
Lollllllll
Ok… Lets forget the lesbonic part.
Honey, people is very complicated you see but, women is even more complicated then normal.
For ages they had to make prety good “selections” to survive in this world. You know, cuz they allways got pregnant… and couldnt get a job for a very long time…
Ok so, you see, in their genes, they still feel like their survival is in play so they feel instinctivly atracted to sucsessful man, wealthy man. So, speaking the truth, yeah, women sell their vaginas and their anus to the higher biders… thats about it. Also they they still are false, manipulative, cuz they have developed these tools for their survival, to deal with the dumb man.
But now women get the same oportunities, the same rights then most men get, but still are affected by that behavior you see… so now they still choose wealthy , rich and spoiled mans, but not for marriage of for raising families so…. theres a conflict… nowadays women are fuked up, really.
You should stay with man. You can still find sincere, honest, even romantic guys. Some who are virgin at the age of 20s, pure, some who believe that women are frail and need someone to take good care of them
Yeah… its bullshit I know, but theres a lot of guys like that around. They play videogames and stuff
Now, the ladies, most of them lose their virginities when they are at 14s. By the 20s they have sucked so many dicks, cheated so many times, had so much anal sex, they just use their bodies to get more fun… Theres some kind of inversion… You cant trust them your feelings!
Im a guy, Im not a homosexual and, therefore, i like pussy. But really, women suck… literally and metaphorically so… get yourself a nice, sensitive, caring man and stop crying over the damn pussy.
Ok?
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