blogging

Life has been full of changes lately.

Not in an “awkward teenager changes” sort of way. Or in a Tupac sort of way. But in more of a Stevie Nicks sort of way. Sort of. And I apologize that I’ve been so busy eating Sour Patch kids while seeing Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 over and over again that I couldn’t find time to blog about all these changes. Can you just respect that?  You could have it a lot worse. I could be writing daily posts about my vegan lifestyle or posting pictures of my midget sized dog with eye crusties, wearing lame outfits and discussing how he told me he hates the colder weather.

Black Friday

So after I had the uncomfortable talk with my parents about my real ethnicity, I took the train in to Chicago to spend the rest of my Black Friday meeting up with Jess from Stumbling Toward Nirvana.

Welp. Ever seen that movie Catfish?

Yea, this was nothing like that. But given the grab bag of creepy, random experiences that is my life, I brought a video camera just in case. Fortunately, I must tell you that the red-headed writer is everything that she appears to be – awesomesauce with a sprinkle of cinnamazing.

Dad’s 60th Surprise Party

Of all the uncertainties in life, there is one constant that I can bank on: when I use my dad’s camera for any reason, I will find various self portraits of him in perplexing, yet familiar locations.

You might remember this one I posted last Christmas. It might seem like confusing self portraits of my dad are becoming your yearly Christmas gift. And you might be right.

If you remember correctly, I took a poll on what we all thought he was doing in this picture. And although “a Christopher Lloyd impression” was a good guess, it turns out he actually just finished some drywall and my mom had requested he remove his shirt before entering the house. I’m still waiting to hear back from Angela Lansbury as to why he thought it necessary to document this. I will update you as soon as I receive the investigative summary.

So last month I was using my dad’s camera, and you know how sometimes the universe is just on your side? Well such was this. More self portraits. And it so happens that I had just sent out the invites for my dad’s 60th surprise birthday party.

I may or may not have blown them up and scattered the around the room.

Actually, yea. I probably did do that.

He got over it as soon as he tasted my BBQ meatballs. If I could just ship some of those meatballs to the Middle East, I’m confident those suicide bombers would start thinking twice. The meaning of life could be found in those meatballs.

That party was a lot of work but there is no one in the world who deserves to be celebrated more than my dad.

Christmas Decorating

In my spare time, I’ve been elfing my way around to all my friends houses helping string lights, decorate trees and making sure that their houses are Christmasy enough for me to visit.

And in my spare, spare time, I have decided to help my dad get organized. I decided this after needing to grab something from his workshop and seeing this:

After immediately calling AEtv and submitting an application for Hoarders: Buried Alive, I put my gloves on and we got to work. My dad’s defense was that everyone throws their extra stuff in his workshop. By everyone, I’m assuming he means my mom since that’s the only other person around.

He denied accusations of hoarding, but you tell me.

Sidenote: Many of you email me with questions on how to break into freelance writing, or freelance writing tips. Since I would love to help all of you but it is very time consuming to break it down individually for each person, I was thinking of starting a section on here just for How To in regards to writing and freelancing in general. Would any of you munchkins be interested in that? If so, drop it in the comments. Thanks!

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Black Friday: Is This When I’m Supposed To Tell My Parents That I’m Black?

Confessions November 21, 2011
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It’s a simple question. And one that I kind of need answered in the next few days. K thanks. So I’ve been sitting here all morning trying to write about something – anything but the thoughts in my head. Preferably something ridiculous that would make you smirk and say, “Ok good, at least she’s alive.” [...]

65 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Life Lately In Pictures: Road Trippin & Lady Elaine Fairchilde

Confessions October 7, 2011
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I have a billion things to get caught up on today. Which is exactly why I just started a Lady Elaine Fairchilde Twitter account three minutes ago. In fact, she just tweeted her first pic: “Missin my peeps from the ‘hood today. Went 2 ChuckECheese 2b around other creepy puppets w/ wood faces.” She’s also [...]

57 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Givin A Little Bit Of My Love Away {Blunty Award Edition}

Confessions September 22, 2011
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There’s something I’m bad at. Besides athletics, adhering to commitments, rocking the pale look, digesting gluten, self diagnosing my diseases, wearing yellow, driving and watching black & white movies. There’s something else. Oh, I didn’t tell you about my recent discovery of gluten intolerance? Yea it’s pretty awesome. It’s about the most devastating news an Italian [...]

45 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

September 2001: A Glimpse Into My Life

Confessions September 9, 2011
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You’ll have to excuse me, but this summer has been a freak show of chaos and if it weren’t for the expiration date on my mozzarella, I would have had no clue that we were approaching the 10 year anniversary of September 11, 2001. I know lately I’ve put on my introspective alter ego and you’re [...]

51 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Blunt Bites: It Always Comes Down To That One Day

Blunt Bites August 29, 2011
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[ Blunt Bites break away from my normal, detailed posts. They are short snapshots of a significant part of my life. Sometimes, they're serious. Sometimes, they're funny. But they're always gonna be delicious. Yum. ]      Riding the Underground to I don’t know where, I was writing in my journal and thinking of how well I fit into [...]

46 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Gandhi’s Top 4 Tips On How To Have A Crappy Blog

Confessions July 27, 2011
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I realize it’s possible that a few of you might have been slightly distracted by the crumbling economy and possible impending doom of our country’s unresolvable debt crisis, therefore you might not have been tuned into the Discovery channel like I was last weekend. And that means, you missed the recent archaeological discovery of a [...]

65 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

WANTED: Gray Haired African-American Man With Saxophone Skills

Confessions July 8, 2011
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[Because it's was my birthday, and because I'm refinishing cabinets and I started a new job, I'm recycling an oldie. If you remember this post, congratulations. You're two years older and still like reading pointless stuff on the INTERNETS.] I’m currently babysitting my best friend’s 6 month old.  Yes, the same best friend who pumps breast [...]

72 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Life Lately in Pictures

June 16, 2011

1 comment Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Plus Sides To Dating A Heroin Addict

Confessions June 16, 2011
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Well, there’s always ice cream in the fridge. And I don’t know if we’ve been introduced but that’s kind of a big deal. That’s about it. Oh, did I say side(s)? Unintentional mislead, sorry. So, with lightening speed we’re encroaching upon the worst time of the year: my birthday. For those who’ve been around awhile, [...]

40 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery