December 12, 2011

Life Lately In Pictures: Chicago, Hoarding Accusations, Catfish & Awkwardness

in Confessions, Photo Posts

Life has been full of changes lately.

Not in an “awkward teenager changes” sort of way. Or in a Tupac sort of way. But in more of a Stevie Nicks sort of way. Sort of. And I apologize that I’ve been so busy eating Sour Patch kids while seeing Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 over and over again that I couldn’t find time to blog about all these changes. Can you just respect that?  You could have it a lot worse. I could be writing daily posts about my vegan lifestyle or posting pictures of my midget sized dog with eye crusties, wearing lame outfits and discussing how he told me he hates the colder weather.

Black Friday

So after I had the uncomfortable talk with my parents about my real ethnicity, I took the train in to Chicago to spend the rest of my Black Friday meeting up with Jess from Stumbling Toward Nirvana.

Welp. Ever seen that movie Catfish?

Yea, this was nothing like that. But given the grab bag of creepy, random experiences that is my life, I brought a video camera just in case. Fortunately, I must tell you that the red-headed writer is everything that she appears to be – awesomesauce with a sprinkle of cinnamazing.

Dad’s 60th Surprise Party

Of all the uncertainties in life, there is one constant that I can bank on: when I use my dad’s camera for any reason, I will find various self portraits of him in perplexing, yet familiar locations.

You might remember this one I posted last Christmas. It might seem like confusing self portraits of my dad are becoming your yearly Christmas gift. And you might be right.

If you remember correctly, I took a poll on what we all thought he was doing in this picture. And although “a Christopher Lloyd impression” was a good guess, it turns out he actually just finished some drywall and my mom had requested he remove his shirt before entering the house. I’m still waiting to hear back from Angela Lansbury as to why he thought it necessary to document this. I will update you as soon as I receive the investigative summary.

So last month I was using my dad’s camera, and you know how sometimes the universe is just on your side? Well such was this. More self portraits. And it so happens that I had just sent out the invites for my dad’s 60th surprise birthday party.

I may or may not have blown them up and scattered the around the room.

Actually, yea. I probably did do that.

He got over it as soon as he tasted my BBQ meatballs. If I could just ship some of those meatballs to the Middle East, I’m confident those suicide bombers would start thinking twice. The meaning of life could be found in those meatballs.

That party was a lot of work but there is no one in the world who deserves to be celebrated more than my dad.

Christmas Decorating

In my spare time, I’ve been elfing my way around to all my friends houses helping string lights, decorate trees and making sure that their houses are Christmasy enough for me to visit.

And in my spare, spare time, I have decided to help my dad get organized. I decided this after needing to grab something from his workshop and seeing this:

After immediately calling AEtv and submitting an application for Hoarders: Buried Alive, I put my gloves on and we got to work. My dad’s defense was that everyone throws their extra stuff in his workshop. By everyone, I’m assuming he means my mom since that’s the only other person around.

He denied accusations of hoarding, but you tell me.

Sidenote: Many of you email me with questions on how to break into freelance writing, or freelance writing tips. Since I would love to help all of you but it is very time consuming to break it down individually for each person, I was thinking of starting a section on here just for How To in regards to writing and freelancing in general. Would any of you munchkins be interested in that? If so, drop it in the comments. Thanks!

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{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }

NikkiB December 12, 2011 at 6:59 pm

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I have been wondering where you’ve been hiding! Now go get me a piece of cake, a glass of wine, and make my house all Christmasy!

PS I still think your dad was doing Doc Brown impressions. Still doesn’t explain the lack of shirt.

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 5:54 pm

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I’ve been hiding in your bushes out front. I can be coaxed inside with a cup of hot chocolate.

i’m a cheap date

Abby December 12, 2011 at 8:03 pm

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Nikki took my line, as I was going to request you come over, get drunk and play with electricity in my shrubs to get in the holiday spirit. I mean exactly that–it’s not some creepy euphamism.

Anyway, being a writer myself, I can help you write that freelance section with this: They call it “free” lance writing, not “pay” lance writing for a reason. Carry on.

Jen December 13, 2011 at 8:35 am

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I’ll join Abby and Nikki. Totally not creepy.

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 5:55 pm

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Hahaha. isn’t that right?!?! you gotta be willing to work for free for a looooooong time. possibly forever!

SpilledInkGuy December 12, 2011 at 8:33 pm

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We are the world…
We are the children…
We loves us some Blunt’s BBQ World Peace Balls…
*sorry… my voice started to crack up on me there. I’ve got to pull it together… I’m totally ruining the video*

I would also sincerely appreciate any tips on how to compose a complete sentence… or form a single coherent thought. Words. They’re evil. Maybe if they tried a Meatball…
:)

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 5:56 pm

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hahaha. ok, english 101 it is!

nursemyra December 13, 2011 at 2:40 am

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Happy birthday Dad! My dad’s gone now, can I borrow yours on occasion? He looks like a lot of fun

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 5:57 pm

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a lot of people borrow my dad.
he has enough frizzy hair to go around, thankfully

Amy December 13, 2011 at 5:56 am

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Based on that first photo from last year… are you SURE he’s not David Carradine in Kill Bill?

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 5:57 pm

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hahahahaha. um, but on a serious note, i hate that movie

Jen December 13, 2011 at 8:39 am

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You are such an amazing daughter. This is coming from a not amazing daughter. Love the blown up photos of your dad around the cake. Next time I have to organize a party, I’m emailing you for caption ideas with photos.

I think we need to get on this whole meet up in Chicago with the blogging gals.

Just posted about my holiday decorating. Random figurines abound.

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 6:11 pm

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UMMMM we need to get on this. march is a coming around the corner!!!

granny annie December 13, 2011 at 9:51 am

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Your dad is definitely a confident man.
Yes I’m interested in your class on free lancing.
My grandchildren swear they see the $750 coupon shoppers that pay $1.27 end up on hoarders because there is no way one family can consume all they buy.

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 6:12 pm

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ugh. srsly, that show scares me.

and now my dad is one of them ahhhhh!

J December 13, 2011 at 11:28 am

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Next time we meet – I think it’s going to be in Vegas.

I kind of wish we lived closer to each other though, so we could help each other drink boxed wine and get tangled in Christmas lights and trade stories about our weird (yet lovable) Dads.

My dad thinks our cat is psychic. And he’s the only one who can understand him. He calls the cat Mr. Chips. It’s not the cat’s name, but he calls him that anyway. Questions?

I’m glad your life is going marvelously. I’m pretty positive you deserve it. :)

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 6:13 pm

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vegas… OR…. chicago in March with the #badassgirlcult???????

Bearman December 13, 2011 at 2:11 pm

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Was your dad born on Halloween. I mean that pic with him and your mom looks great, but I am trying to figure out why he is dressed like Lurch from the Addams Family.

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 6:13 pm

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hahaha. um, my dad and fashion have never been very good friends.

not even acquaintances

Bearman December 16, 2011 at 8:25 am

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Isn’t that why he had a daughter?

blunt delivery December 19, 2011 at 4:17 pm

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um yes. and I do all of his shopping for him. however, i couldn’t really dress him for a surprise party that I was hosting, knowhatimean?

Miss T December 13, 2011 at 7:14 pm

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FANTASTIC! I love the pics of your dad. I also love your writing style, though I’m betting you won’t be sharing that in your advice. ;)

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 6:14 pm

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my writing style has been comprised of a lot of refusing to read books. haha.

Hannah December 14, 2011 at 6:20 am

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I am taking time out of my ridiculous schedule of refusing to comment on blogs I read to procrastinate my writing writing of numerous final papers (thereby leaving proof of my non-diligence) to implore you to pleeeease impart your freelancing wisdom to those of us whippersnappers who find ourselves wondering (fearing) if the big scary real world is worse than all this academic stress.

I might have used up my ability to craft coherent sentences several thousand words ago.

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 6:15 pm

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hahahaha. Noted Hannah!!! And thank you for taking the time to comment. I’ll see what i can do!

Thoughts Appear December 14, 2011 at 9:28 am

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I’m definitely interested in some freelance tips. Writing or editing. I do some editing now.

Also…you met up with Jess from Stumbling Toward Nirvana? Can I come next time? You two rock.

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 6:16 pm

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Um #yesididandyoushouldbejealous!

Alright mlady!

Pauline December 14, 2011 at 4:14 pm

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Those pictures of your dad with captions are hilarious! He looks like quite the character! Happy birthday to him!:)

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 6:17 pm

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my dad is the ultimate character. he wrote the book on how to be a character.

Katie December 15, 2011 at 7:47 am

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1. Love your photos, as usual.

2. Are your parents looking to adopt?

3. Ummm…. YES. I mostly know I just need to get off of my ass and start pitching, but your advice would be priceless.

Blunt Delivery December 15, 2011 at 6:18 pm

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1. stop it

2. could they use another crafty, creative dramatic and semi-wayward daughter? always

3. noted!

Skinny Dip December 16, 2011 at 1:02 am

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I would happily accept confusing self portraits of your Dad as a yearly Christmas gift because they are awesome.

Um, can you please come over and help me get Christmasy? I already volunteered myself to help other people get their trees up this weekend & I have still haven’t done mine (crap!) I’ll supply the boxed wine. Promise.

blunt delivery December 19, 2011 at 4:18 pm

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well… i gotta admit that my own situation is pretty sad. although i’ve helped everyone else, i dont have anything xmasy around my errrr, room this year. Since i’m not living at my condo anymore, it’s kinda like, whats the point? plus it hasn’t snowed yet and so I’m just like, ugh. whatevs.

iampisspot December 16, 2011 at 5:21 am

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Ooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeee, I got really giddy when I saw you’d blogged!

Ok, so firstly, your Dad is awesome. My Dad is also pretty awesome and a TAD eccentric – I’ll take self portraits and hoarding and raise you playing the spoons on his head and making videos about freeing the Guatamalan worry people.

Can you swing by my place and decorate it in time for Christmas?

:-)

blunt delivery December 19, 2011 at 4:19 pm

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um. yes.

and yes.

i’ll bring Skinny Dip and we’ll be right over with the boxed wine.

linlah December 17, 2011 at 6:45 pm

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I hung up all 5 of the Christmas cards I got, I’m betting that my Christmas decorations are not worthy.

blunt delivery December 19, 2011 at 4:20 pm

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hahaha!! well. i’m still of the age where none of my friends send cards and i’m too lazy (plus don’t have a family) and so i don’t send them either.

so there.

Noch Noch December 18, 2011 at 7:08 am

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YES please let us know about your freelance writing experience :)
I’d really appreciate it… I’m trying to be a writer…

blunt delivery December 19, 2011 at 4:20 pm

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will do!!!!!

Dr. Cynicism December 19, 2011 at 10:29 am

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Dammit Blunty — “catfish and awkwardness” was going to be the title of my upcoming book. Now you went and used it. Also, I suggest decorating the tree *with* boxed wine. Awesome, right?!

blunt delivery December 19, 2011 at 4:21 pm

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AAAAAAAAAahahahahaha. no need to recycle those empty boxes anymore… saving them for next year’s decor!! oh, and also, i could use those to wrap gifts… so many options.

twinsie power!

Alexandra the Tsaritsa December 19, 2011 at 1:45 pm

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Those self-portraits are amazing! The 60th birthday party decor was truly inspired :)

I think a section on freelance writing is a great idea. It’s something that a lot of people are trying to get into right now, and as someone who is trying to do the same I know I’d appreciate reading how someone broke into the biz.

blunt delivery December 19, 2011 at 4:22 pm

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thanks alexandra :)

and yea, i think i’ll do it even though it doesn’t really “fit” with my blog… i mean, between all the self portraits of my dad… but. this blog is for the people, by the people. haha. so if that’s what they want then so be it!

Justin Mazza December 19, 2011 at 10:41 pm

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Hi,
First time to your blog but I have to say that you have a “witty” writing style and great humor to boot.

The pics of your Dad and your commentary are hilarious.
Take care…

bluntdelivery January 2, 2012 at 10:33 pm

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well thanks for stopping by Justin! I look forward to checking out your blog as well! yea, he’s something. that’s for sure.

singlegirlie December 23, 2011 at 12:23 am

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Aw it looks like you’ve been having loads of fun! Happy birthday to Papa Blunty. He must feel very proud of himself for producing such a lovely, talented daughter.

Hope your holidays are freaking awesome, Blunty Blunt!

bluntdelivery January 2, 2012 at 10:34 pm

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aw, stop yourself girlie!!! You’re sweet. and thanks so much for being a blogging friend and all around awesome pants.

Catherine December 23, 2011 at 8:45 pm

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Yes, of course we’d love your advice on freelance writing.

These pictures of your dad cracked me up. I’m sharing it with my sister, who takes TONS of self portraits of herself. I’m going to warn her that this is her, only older and male. Ha!

bluntdelivery January 2, 2012 at 10:35 pm

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hahaha! do it! Yea, don’t ever let me “borrow” your camera for any reason. fyi

maggie December 25, 2011 at 8:09 pm

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“cinnamazing” may be my new favourite word. having nothing to do with the fact that i think cinnamon makes everything better.

the pictures of your dad are fantabulous. love them.
i want you to plan my 60th birthday party.
(i got my dad a costume made bobble head for his 60th. pales in comparison to a big shing ding. though it is creepy how much it looks like him)

i’m afraid to say the christmas decor of my house would probably not make it possible for you to visit me. i promise it’s not because i don’t love christmas and all it’s pizzazz. but i’m almost never home except to sleep. but i hang an ornament in my car all year round, if that makes up for it! :)

finally, i will start obnoxious facebook status countdowns as soon as we have a weekend set for chicago. juuuust saying.

House on Brown Ave December 26, 2011 at 1:28 am

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What a great blog! And I wish I had friends that wanted to come decorate my place. Between all the time working and traveling it’s hard to find time to decorate my condo. In the mean time, I’ll just gaze at Chicago’s lights and call them mine. Happy holidays!

bluntdelivery January 2, 2012 at 10:37 pm

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WEll thanks for stopping by Brown Ave! Big welcome hug from me to your condo.

Cherie Jamison December 27, 2011 at 8:09 pm

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LOVE that you blew up the pictures of your dad. That is just great.

Also glad your meet up experience didn’t end up resulting in a creepy movie (I assume it’s creepy; I’ve never actually seen Catfish).

bluntdelivery January 2, 2012 at 10:31 pm

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Ummmmyea. it’s creepy alright. you should watch it… i mean, if you need another reason to be paranoid that is.

Elliot December 27, 2011 at 10:28 pm

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You’re lucky, your dad seems awesome. In a disheveled, Dennis Hopper sort of way.

bluntdelivery January 2, 2012 at 10:32 pm

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hahah! thanks for stopping by Elliot! And yea, he’s disheveled all right

Diane @ home sweet homemade December 28, 2011 at 9:04 pm

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hi Brit, your dad is some character! Happy belated birthday to him :) But seriously, 13 broken drills? Yes I’d agree this is an intervention waiting to happen. I’ve been thinking of you – I’m a fan, always will be! Thank you for your blogging friendship and kindness. xo, Diane

bluntdelivery January 2, 2012 at 10:32 pm

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aw you’re too sweet diane! Same to you my dear :)

Kristanna August 28, 2014 at 12:15 am

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I’m grufatel you made the post. It’s cleared the air for me.

Ron December 29, 2011 at 8:54 pm

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Faaaaaaaaaabulous photos, girl!

The ones of Chicago are freakin’ brilliant! I’ve heard from so many people how GREAT that city is and that I’d LOVE it. And could please send some of that snow my way, because we haven’t had so much as a FLAKE this year!

You look soooooo much like your mom! Beautiful ladies you both are!

Hey listen, if you plan to meet up with the GALS in Chicago, would you consider having GUY tad along too? I promise to bring a Barbie doll! HA!

Hope you had a terrific Christmas, bestie!

Looking forward to blogging with you in 2012!

Cheers and X!

bluntdelivery January 2, 2012 at 10:36 pm

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um RON!!!!! do you have any idea how much i would want you to come to our blogger meet up!?!?!?!? Seriously! It’s gonna be in chitown, sometime in march… I’m just waiting to hear from NikkiB on what date and I’ll let you know.

I’ll email ya … that would fulfill life goal #12! haha.

xooxo bestie!

George January 3, 2012 at 2:45 pm

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Brit, I think we both grew up in the same style house. When you were a kid, was yours a split-level? When I saw the pic with the Christmas lights, I thought it was my crib. I’ve gotta find a photo of it and send it to you. Only a certain kind of psyche survives living with that floor plan, I swear to ya. :)

I hope 2012 will be an outstanding year for you, Blunt D!

The Constant Complainer January 27, 2012 at 8:16 pm

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Happy Belated Birthday to your dad! Catfish was a strange movie. I felt like the trailer was a little misleading, but I liked it overall. It’s freaky who is out there on the Internet!

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