February 22, 2012

Obligatory Valentine’s Day Post. I Waited A Week So It Would Go On Clearance.

in Confessions, Life

The honeymoon phase is over. That’s clear.

We’re not Khloe and Lamar for goodness sakes. And now I’m feeling all pressured to be spontaneous. Unpredictable. Edgy. Keep things fresh.

Which, if you haven’t figured it out yet, is why I disappeared for a month without warning. See, you might blame me in this situation but if you weren’t so insatiable then it wouldn’t have come to this.

Over the past month, several of you have made desperate attempts to reach out through the various social media avenues made available to us.

Blunt, is this thing on?

Blunt, are you alive?  Did you drown in a tub of mayonnaise?

Um, Blunt? I’m worried about you, but I’m more worried about if your mom really left your dad for Steven Tyler yet?

What the? Not even an annual disgruntled anti-Valentine post?

See, now I’ve got you exactly where I want you.

You’re not sure whether or not my heart attack paranoia finally manifested and there was a Blunt funeral that wasn’t even televised because some intern over at E! decided that Whitney Houston’s apparently trumped it or if I’m perfectly fine and just making you sweat it out. And you’re sorta nervous but silently a little happy that you have one less blog to keep up with now.

Yea, I kinda resent you for that last part there. But whatever, we took vows. Forgive and forget.

Anyway, before you get mad, just know that I did this for us. And the good news is I AM alive and so you can wipe the mascara from your face and stop listening to Adele’s Someone Like You on repeat, mmk?

Sometimes you just gotta spice things up.

Well, you can call me Mrs. Dash.

So if you’re done pointing fingers and you’re ready to thank me for what I’ve done, I’d like to share with you a few other things that I’ve done on my unannounced hiatus from THE INTERNETS:

*Redesign of my photography site, Indigo Photography

*Got a big-girl job unexpectedly and I’ve been in very intense training that has essentially claimed all of my remaining brain cells and thus, I’m only good for changing the channel from Bravo to E! when I get home.

*Been plotting my redesign of Blunt Delivery, which includes finding a way to incorporate my photography more into the site as well as starting my column on freelancing advice. And plus cus I just get ADD with my design after about a year.

*Listening to the new Lana Del Rey album on repeat.

*Freaking out because my site disappeared for about 5 days. And because another friend is preggers.

*Lamenting the loss of any creativity due to new job stealing all my brain cells.

*Seriously contemplated never writing another blog again but then realized I can’t live without you guys, or creativity. And so I slapped myself around a bit for thinking something so ludacris. Then I wondered why Ludacris doesn’t have a ‘Lil in front of his name like all the other rappers who are going somewhere in life. Then I remembered that I’m way overdue for a video blog.

(snowflake on my car window)

*Did I mention that I’m living out of my car / friends’ houses / parent’s house because my engagement ended last fall and someone is now renting out my house therefore making it really really hard for me to even use a computer regularly?

*Been in and out of the doctor for undiagnosed mystery stomach pains. Tried about 700 different crazy diets, one of which was sugar free, gluten free and dairy free. Which essentially equals = chicken.

*Simultaneously trying to talk myself in and out of switching to Mac again. Ugh.

*Panicking because one of my friends is insisting that I photograph her wedding although I’ve never done so and I have no clue what to do. So I just keep buying more photography gadgets, which should probably fix everything.

*Racking my brain over why WHY Bachelor Ben can’t see though Courtney and her rabbit faces and beady little eyes and manipulative ways. And cartoon voice.


So can we Lionel Richie our way out of this and back into a loving and forgiving relationship?  One where you love and forgive me and I just kind of do what I want?

You’re the best.

Which is why you can always count on me to spice things up.

You deserve it.

 

 

 

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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

Roxanne February 22, 2012 at 8:18 am

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Well, that explains a lot. And it explains a lot in a very amusing way. I often wonder about people who are suddenly sucked away to Real Life. It is a mystery to me. It’s like some kind of Twilight Zone thing. Anyway, good luck with all your stuff, thanks for sharing.

Bearman February 22, 2012 at 8:24 am

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All I got out of that was that you got a big girl job so your posts won’t be as racy as they used to be. hahahahah

Katie February 22, 2012 at 10:07 am

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Love the photos. Missed you!

And this beats my obligatory V-day post from last year in which I told the story of how Justin got me Carmen Electra Strip Aerobics for my gift. The complete box set.

I couldn’t turn my neck for 3 days after trying it.

This is why we don’t do V-day.

JillsyGirl Studio February 22, 2012 at 10:56 am

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You’re forgiven!

Chanel February 22, 2012 at 12:25 pm

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I hope your health gets better. :)

Brandon February 22, 2012 at 12:27 pm

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Random disappearances? Completely unheard of from you, dear. I can’t think of any other time you’ve done such a thing, especially since your life is so stagnant and normal.

Alas, it is good that you’re still upright and mobile, and this absence wasn’t caused by some terribly tragic event but instead a (possibly?) good one with your new job. You’ll have to give me the details at some point, I’m curious to know what job has Brit up early, showering, and wearing something other than sweats on a consistent basis. (And if you’re still working out even semi-regularly, my mind is officially blown.)

A few others:
- Do not switch to Mac. You will overpay and get little in return, photoshop runs just as well on Windows.
- Courtney is a model. Rafa Nadal… err Ben is a boring dude with no personality, so he’s probably not the best judge of personality. Did I mention Courtney is a model? And she uses her body to her advantage?
- Sucks the random diets didn’t work. Stomach issues are the worst, there’s never an easy fix.

Erin February 22, 2012 at 1:32 pm

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Agreed on The Bachelor though I enjoy the pairing of Courtney and Ben because I think they are both vapid, boring, and self-centered.

Also, Lana Del Rey album- SO GOOD! I think, “Million Dollar Man” is my favorite, but there’s not much I don’t like on there (with the exception of Lolita).

SpilledInkGuy February 23, 2012 at 10:29 am

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B is back, B is back,
la-la-la-la-la!
(Um… do you have any Kleenex in that glove compartment because I’m getting mascara all over the back of my hands and it seems like that’s making things worse…)
:)

linlah February 23, 2012 at 4:13 pm

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Please do not let the Big Girl Job take over your life that would be tragic.

granny annie February 24, 2012 at 8:04 am

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Great job filling us in on all your “happening” however you failed to mention what new prescription drugs you just might possibly be taking now (and I say that in a very low whisper).

maggie February 24, 2012 at 8:20 pm

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you knows I loves ya no matter what. to the point where i add an ‘s’ to the end of it, like a good lil’ newfoundlander.
I’m glad you decided to return to the bloggy world. I’ve kind of stopped keeping up with it, but I knew you were missing. I knew it deep down in my soul.

Still working on the whole Visiting Chicago in June thing. My manager’s head is going to explode (tax season, huzzah) and I have to now make him think about when it would be best to try sending me away for CE again since the first attempt was a fail…. Current life goal: know my June vacation time before I die in a plane crash on my way to Florida in April. Seems reasonable.

In other news, I look forward to whatever you do next. Take your time. I can keep up with this once a month kind of pace no problem. ;D

Nikki B February 25, 2012 at 12:47 pm

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Ohhhh BluntyFace! How I’ve missed you!

And *whew* yes – clearly your ploy to spice it all up worked wonders. Is it like not calling until the fourth day?

Anyhoo. Congrats on the new job (exciting!!) and photography stuff. You can always come live with me (I’m just in another state). I hope you feel better and you figure out your tummy issues. At this point, Ben and Courtney deserve each other.

Missed you!

Jen February 26, 2012 at 8:07 am

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Well, at least one of us has a big girl job. I’m so close to packing in the whole blog thing. No, I mean, really this time. But, then I haven’t because I kind of lack focus when it comes to this whole writing thing and can’t commit to packing it all in. I did a major revamp of my site and moved it to WP. Take a spin around. I think you will approve.
Glad you’re back. Wasn’t the same without you.

Tracy February 26, 2012 at 9:35 am

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Darn it…I thought you disappeared because I disapperared and now somone waved their magic wand and POOF, we are both back. Just like that. Welcome back….your musings always make my day.

The Constant Complainer February 26, 2012 at 1:03 pm

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I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.

As far as the blogging, we all go through periods where we want to hang it up. So sometimes it’s nice to just get away, refresh and come back when you’re ready. But like someone else commented above, it certainly wasn’t the same without you.

I figured that your e-mail and Twitter was exploding with people wondering what you were up to.

I hope your stomach feels better too. It may very well be the Gluten thing. It amazes me how many people are being diagnosed with that these days.

Noch Noch | be me. be natural. February 29, 2012 at 12:43 am

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love the spicing up. looking forward to new design. just love that energy that seeps through the screen from you to me
Noch Noch

Thoughts Appear February 29, 2012 at 8:41 am

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Ahhhhh…I missed you. I’m glad you’re not dead. Congrats on the job! And I hope your tummy is feeling better!

iampisspot February 29, 2012 at 8:59 am

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Welcome back – I missed you!

George February 29, 2012 at 7:54 pm

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I’m just glad to know that you’re still kicking and moving. I guess I can go and erase your caricature off the few remaining milk cartons that I had been defacing in the cooler of this truck-stop convenience store.

wynonaelliott  March 1, 2012 at 12:26 pm

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This is the beginning we waited for, I expect something more from you… Thanks!

Tricia March 5, 2012 at 2:39 am

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I am really happy that your coming back..I hope you feel better now..Thanks for sharing this kind of post to us..

Catherine March 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm

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Beautiful pictures. Although I have missed you! And I’m glad someone finally told me what Courtney reminds me of… a rabbit!
Congrats on the job :)

Misty March 7, 2012 at 12:12 pm

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I am glad you are feeling up to blogging again. I had just found you and then thought I lost you again (it’s all about MY needs, you see!).

I think everyone has been in that “should I just hang it up” place with the blogging. Sometimes it just takes so much time and energy that you don’t know if you can keep it up. Glad you took some time for you and that you feel better. Sorry about the tummy. Hope that gets worked out. And yay for big girl job!!

singlegirlie March 8, 2012 at 1:01 am

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Girl, I feel you. Lately I have not been motivated to blog and finding the time to do it is proving more and more difficult. I don’t know how some of these people blog every damn day. Or even once a week. Take all the time you need, honey. We’ll be here. I’m concerned that you watch The Bachelor, though. ex oh ex oh

Natasha March 8, 2012 at 3:49 pm

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Miss your words, but I understand the absence since you have a big-girl job. My big-girl job prevents me from some pursuits from time to time, too.

Simone March 11, 2012 at 8:38 pm

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Yay! You’re back! So glad you didn’t drown in a oversized tub of mayonnaise.

Your photos are gorgeous. I’m sure you’d make a good wedding photographer, even if only for a day. I’d hire you.

Pauline March 14, 2012 at 9:56 am

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Congrats on the new job! I love the snowflake photos and your photography site looks great! :)

Shalani March 15, 2012 at 11:00 am

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XOXO! just lay on your bed and have a great rest my dear, life is full of unexpected things but we have a power to make things possible…

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