December 3, 2010

Your Guess Is As Good As Mine [Plus A Christmas Giveaway]

in Family Matters, Giveaways

UPDATE: Winner of this contest is FAUX TRIXIE!  I took the total number of entries, minus those who opted out cus they live in the UK and the cookies would be gross by then and added one extra entry for those who commented on my column over at The College Crush.  Sometimes, it actually pays to be the first commenter!

So, there is no shame in sharing things, you know? I happen to need a new digital camera. In fact, a camera was the one item on my Black Friday list; however, I failed miserably at getting it because I became terribly distracted by all the other sparkly, half-priced objects. Please take a moment to marvel at my use of the semicolon in the previous sentence.

So, I’ve been borrowing my dad’s lately. No. Big. Deal.

Except when you are sitting down for Friendsgiving Dinner [a Thanksgiving for friends only], and you go to review the pictures that you have taken, and you come across this:

Pretty sure I didn’t take that.

99% sure that’s my dad.

But not 99% sure why he is shirtless, with gray hair and a white hand.

As I was pondering that thought, I fought against every urge to put the camera down, scared of what I might see next.

But curiosity is such a nasty little devil. So I ate some more cheesy potatoes and kept scrolling.

Then, I’d had enough. I did what any one in my position would have done.

Showed the pictures to all my friends and took bets on what was going on.

I called my dad and told him I’d found some disturbing pictures on his camera. He started laughing, and followed it up with, “Oops. Forgot about those. You better not show them to anyone.”

Come on, dad. A little credit for your best daughter?

Many of you have asked me over the years what it is about my dad that I love so much. After all, he did scam me into raising sheep.  Well folks, this pretty much sums it up. So because I love my dad so so much, and because he just turned 59, and because I have an awesome new Christmas blog header, I’m gonna give stuff away!!!!


Bitter Baking Company and Blunt Delivery will be doing several Christmas giveaways this December. This, being the first. All, you have to do to score some sarcastically delicious cookies on your doorstep is answer the following question:

What in the world is up with my dad in these pictures?

That is the only rule. **BONUS ENTRY: you can visit my new column at The College Crush and leave me a little love. It’s hard being the new girl on the block!

Must enter by noon Wednesday, December 8!

Merry Christmakkuh!


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{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

The Faux Trixie December 3, 2010 at 10:59 am

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He secretly joined facebook under a false name and his hobbies are kicking ass and taking names. He needed to practice an appropriate picture to go along with said hobbies.

J December 3, 2010 at 11:33 am

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Obviously, your dad is trying to start his own maybe-naked-picture of That Guy From Back To The Future internet rumor.

I’d say he’s doing a pretty good job.

unoffical roomie December 3, 2010 at 11:56 am

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My take: He is either on the verge of a momumental scientific discovery, the likes of which the world has never seen (think Einstein inventing electricity.)
OR on the verge of a severe mental breakdown, the likes of which the world has never seen (possibly almost the same thing/interchangeable with the above breakthrough scenario.)

maggie December 3, 2010 at 12:21 pm

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That first picture pretty much killed me with laughter, not gonna lie.
Seems to me he could be working on some kind of “stay in school and off drugs!” campaign, as presented by Einstein. This was the practice run while he waits for the moustache to grow in.

Enna December 3, 2010 at 12:41 pm

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OBVIOUSLY he is going to use these facial expressions to put his head on someone else’s body. Like Gislle’s, or Britney’s. Actually, Britney’s would be scary accurate of what she will look like at 37-40.

Diane @ home sweet homemade December 3, 2010 at 12:45 pm

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CLEARLY audition photos. The mystery, still, is what venue or entertainment empire was lucky enough to be the target recipient of these photos. AND the treasure trove of other audition photos you DIDN’T happen to uncover.

But I could go with any of the other suggestions too. Your Dad makes me laugh too.

Pretty puhleez enter me in the contest for the cookies.

Erin December 3, 2010 at 1:51 pm

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Auditioning for a nautical-themed Back to the Future 4.

Gorilla Bananas December 3, 2010 at 1:55 pm

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The bottom two are the prostate examination in progress. The top one is him warning the doctor not to use more than one finger.

Anonymous December 3, 2010 at 2:02 pm

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I totally thought of Doc Brown, too! ROFL. . . your poor pop!

If I had to guess what he’s doing, it’d prolly come out X rated, and I don’t really want to say anything like that here. I mean, he’s your DAD for goodness sakes. DAD’s don’t do kinky stuff like THAT. Plus you’d then have images to get out of your head. And nobody wants those. SO I’ll spare you.

I think he just got out of the shower and caught the dog eating his birthday cake. :) Yup! That’s my BEST GUESS!

Bearman December 3, 2010 at 2:16 pm

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He is doing his best Clint Eastwood/Bozo the Clown impression. BTW I get bonus entries for commenting before people were bribed.

Taylor December 3, 2010 at 2:44 pm

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Weeelll. I know sometimes I take pictures of myself because I’m like, “HUH I WONDER WHAT I LOOK LIKE WHEN I DO THIIIS!”

So, uhhh. Yep, I’d say your dad was doing the same thing.

linlah December 3, 2010 at 4:02 pm

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I think that was how he felt after eating sarcastically delicious cookies.

Candice December 3, 2010 at 5:34 pm

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It’s a virtual spanking, obvs! Can you send cookies to Canada?

Nate December 3, 2010 at 6:00 pm

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“why he is shirtless”
He was so concerned with deleting the pics he had snapped when the camera was aimed much much lower he simply forgot to get rid of these…no big deal.
I like his hair, I want to have some wacky looking hair when I am his age.

When Pigs Fly December 3, 2010 at 6:07 pm

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He walked past the television and noticed that someone had accidentally left The View on. It can happen to the best of us.
Please send me cookies. It’s really cold and depressing here.

mm December 3, 2010 at 7:40 pm

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I’m going to be boring, and say that he was hanging drywall, thought he looked funny with the drywall dust all over, and took pictures with funny faces to laugh at just how crazy he looked. :)

Heather Carner December 3, 2010 at 11:02 pm

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Your father is reenacting all of his favorite Clint Eastwood scenes and taking pictures while doing so because he doesn’t know how to “borrow” a picture off the internet for his facebook doppelganger picture!

PS OMG your daddy looks just like Clint Eastwood

susi spice December 4, 2010 at 5:01 am

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i think its highly obvious…

you just caught your dad out at his nudist retreat…ie your place hehe.

Mr C December 4, 2010 at 7:16 pm

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All I care about is that sailboat in the background! That thing is awesome. Ask your pops if I can have it?

Winston Smith December 5, 2010 at 2:53 pm

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I won’t lie to you (have no idea why people say that, coz that’s not a worrying propostion to start a thought with, is it?)……

but I think your Dad (or ‘Dod’ as we write it in the UK) is……

preparing to buy a bear, in order to get into lovable scraps and adventures with around town, Gentle Ben style.

(Merry whateva to you as well)

Nicole December 5, 2010 at 5:51 pm

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DUDE! Your dad is UNCLE SAMMING IT! There is no other explanation.

http://tytempletonart.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/uncle-sam.jpg

Stacy Cohen-Peterson December 5, 2010 at 6:46 pm

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This must be a test shot (or three) to try out for the Ghost of Christmas past?? And since it’s very effective; I’m thinking the “white” hand is dipped in flour…in honor of the special cookies I have seen your association with? JMHO.

Megan December 5, 2010 at 7:43 pm

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Practicing for a nude improv acting class? Or working on a new Facebook/social networking profile pic.

Nicole Luke December 5, 2010 at 7:43 pm

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Ok, the white hand, shirtless…scary facial expressions? He’s waxing!

Cantabile December 5, 2010 at 8:18 pm

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Perfect timing for me to stop being a blog-hermit.

Picture #1 is part of a photoshoot for his new myspace profile. The look he is going for is “Stern, Battle-Hardened Sailor Who Never Wears Shirts Because What Is He, a Woman?” He also offers sagely advice when you least expect it.

Picture #2 is your dad trying to light the camera ablaze with his newfound myspace psychic powers.

Annnd Picture #3 is the mental recoil of all the concentration he had to muster for Picture #2. He may or may not be having an aneurism.

Vodka and Ground Beef December 5, 2010 at 11:29 pm

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I feel like your dad might have just watched “Back to the Future” (the first one) and he’s channeling a little Christopher Lloyd, especially right after the Libyan Nationalists try and shoot Marty in the Delorean. Let me know if I’m right.

Brandon December 6, 2010 at 12:50 am

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It looks like he was on a bad acid trip.

Or he had just heard news of a random European guy had proposed to you.

Or you had just told him about your latest business venture.

Or he’s just so excited because he remembered who is daughter is. (awwww)

(My money is still on the acid trip. I’ve seen movies, those guys are nuts.)

Bree December 6, 2010 at 11:21 am

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Two words: Four Loko.

Megan December 6, 2010 at 11:49 am

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I suppose a more frightening consideration is WHO is behind the camera and what might he be reacting to? Lord knows what state of undress they may be in, lol.

Or, he’s joined a fight club and someone brought a camera.

Or, he’s rehearsing for America’s Next Top Model.

Or, he’s had far too much eggnog.

Bitter Baking Co December 6, 2010 at 2:51 pm

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I am not entering this contest – I already have all the cookies I need. Whatever is up with him (probably just being his normal self and put those pics on there to give you something to talk about) he seems like one really amazing man. Love your stories about him, I feel the same about my dad :o}

Kate December 6, 2010 at 11:03 pm

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Um…I think what your dad was up to before or after these photos were taken was making someone very happy. There’s my 2. Now you’re sorry you asked, aren’t you??

Nikki December 8, 2010 at 9:29 am

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I tried really hard to think of something witty to add to this, but all I could think of were things someone else already said (there’s auditions for Back to the Future the Musical in your area and he needed headshots… Extra-special “Uncle Sam Needs You!” poster.. although then he’d need facial hair too…)

I got nothin. I wish I were wittier (is that even a word).

bschooled December 8, 2010 at 10:03 pm

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Whatever he’s doing, it’s pretty obvious that your dad is awesome!

Vodka and Ground Beef December 9, 2010 at 1:52 am

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Alright – I didn’t win this one, but the next one is mine.

Denny DelVecchio December 10, 2010 at 9:31 pm

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Did I win?

KAP December 12, 2010 at 11:43 am

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That photo of that woman/dude is hot. I’m sorry I haven’t been to your blog in a bit. My work has blocked you as “sex and personals” and I’ve been crawling to my couch due to this damn cold.

Love the giveaways – you’re the nicest person I know!

Rockford Remodeling December 14, 2010 at 2:21 pm

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Eh…I missed out on the cookies. No worries, my figure has went a little south during Thanksgiving. {a bit-o-sour grapes satire}

Your dad is more photogenic than I…how did that happen? Appears to be quite a character.

Georgia Witt December 24, 2010 at 3:53 am

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Whatever he’s doing, it’s pretty obvious that your dad is awesome!

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