Thanksgiving Giveaway: Because I’m Thankful For You Believe It Or Not

UPDATE: According to the WINNER IS KARAOKE ACTIVITY PARTNER! Please email me with your address immediately!

I woke up to a brilliant idea. This is no different than most days, except today’s brilliant idea means that you are about to win free Thanksgiving cookies from the Bitter Baking Company! These ladies rock my socks. You will receive a wonderful assortment  of deliciously sarcastic 3.5″ sugar cookies with meringue icing! Example:

Why the Bitter Baking Company?

Please rephrase the question.

What does this mean for you??

You will be the hit of Thanksgiving. And perhaps the envy of your siblings. And perhaps even someone will forgive a wrongdoing that you commited because you brought such incredibly hilarious baked goods. Actually, I believe that they definitely will.


1. Follow me on either Facebook or Twitter. If you don’t have either one then you aren’t off the hook, cus you can also subscribe. But you should already be doing this because it’s the right thing to do. ****Extra entry if you “like” Bitter Baking Co on Facebook!

2. Leave a comment saying one thing that you’re thankful for. If you can’t think of even one, then be thankful you’re possibly winning these cookies, goshdarnit.

Deadling is SUNDAY November 21 AT MIDNIGHT. I will then update this post with the name of the winner. You must email me at info [at] by noon on Monday with your address so that the cookies can be mailed out by Monday 4:00pm. You will have them by Wednesday!

A GIANT thank you to all of you who read this blog and tell me how messed up I am, and send me encouragement when I’m hanging by a thread. You’re the greatest and your comments and blogs inspire me every day!



36 thoughts on “Thanksgiving Giveaway: Because I’m Thankful For You Believe It Or Not

  1. I don’t need the cookies, but I do need your undying approval and respect. Hence in addition to already being your Twitter buddy, I am now setting up a Facebook account for the SOLE purpose of friending you (Okay, that’s a lie. I did just set up a FB account, and will friend you. But we can pretend the “sole purpose” thing is not a lie. Since I’m realizing that we’re practically the same person anyhow).

  2. I’m thankful you still have 2 boobs….but i don’t need week-old cookies because it takes 7 days to post ANYTHING to the UK!! Trust me…I post enough stuff every week (to US/Canada) to know this!

  3. Today I’m thankful for my family. They’re always always there when I need them the most, and I know they’ll always be there. I’m truly blessed to be a part of this family.

    And woah, how the hell was I not already following you on twitter?! Wtf. Done.

    Cookies please.

  4. I can’t eat those cookies, but I’ve tried to meet you half-way on Facebook. I’m grateful for being Pamela Anderson’s chess tutor. That’s not a typo, I didn’t mean “chest tutor”. I like to help women acquire new skills.

  5. I’m such a follower I bought night vision goggles just so I could watch you even when you don’t know it.


    I’m thankful for getting better at finding happiness in the small things. Because the big things can’t always be counted on.

  6. I need those cookies. And I’m thankful that you and J will come eat them with me in sweatpants with a few bottles of wine. Or no pants at all. And I’m also thankful for the massage you gave me back in July.

  7. Ok, first…you’re not messed up, girl! You’re exactly as you should be….freakin’ fantastic!

    Second, I don’t twitter, however I am on FB yet barely use it, but I would love to friend you. And of course….I subscribed to your feed a loooooong time ago.

    Two things that I am thankful for: One, that I am loved. Two, that I met you. And I really mean that. I’m so happy to have made your acquaintance through the Essential Bastards blog (even though he doesn’t blog anymore, the bastard!). And I look forward to meeting you one day in person, bestie!


  8. First, I’m thankful two that you have both you’re beautiful breasts. Not that I’ve seen them to make that call, but I’m a firm believer in the correlation between a woman’s mind and how she’d be in bed, not that I sleep with women – or men as of the past few months either. Wait, I do have VGB on my fanatsy numbers list and hopefully on our wedding night her and I will do the Ton Loc wild thang, no Funky Cold Medina necessary because VGB is so sexy, she is like the star hooch of all rap videos.Not that she’s a hooch either, but you know the rap girls are kinda hoochy. But yeah anyways, I think smart women are good in bed because we think a lot of thoughts about a lot of shit and so when you think “oh, gotta watch the gay porn to see how the best blow jobs are done” you’re putting not only your mind, but your chunny to work. Good job smarty underpants, good job!

    I’m also thankful for OnDemand episodes of the Beverly Hills Housewives, the fact that Camille Grammer is the biggest bitch in the free world,that I found my missing ear plug underneath my bed when I woke up witg my cheek pressed firmly into my hardwood floor, that I own a lot of stretch pants to fit my beer belly, that I practically shit out everything I ate for the past 3 days – no laxatives needed, that I did not attempt reading today or my brain would have dissolved into that Ecto goop from Ghostbusters, that I remember to pluck my mustache before I went out last night, that tomorrow’s Sunday, that Color Me Badd hasn’t put out a new album, that I’m not pregnant, that if I was pregnant again it would be Denny Delvecchio’s or hopefully – and better yet – the Ultimate Rape Anthems guys, that JCrew sent me another “gift card to shut her bitching up”, and that my grandfather and cousin are out of their respective hospitals and on the mend. Oh, oh – and no herpes break outs for 3 days IN A ROW!!!!

  9. OK…I was already following you on twitter but have refused in the past to follow you on facebook b/c you insisted on setting up your page via Networked Blogs. Well now because I am so thankful for your full recovery and also need sugar, I went ahead and approved Networked Blogs knowing everyone on my friend’s list, my bank account numbers, and my underwear size just so I could follow you on facebook.

    Oh and bonus entry b/c I now follow BBC on facebook AND twitter.

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  11. I don’t like cookies…not at all…they are dry, they crumble all over you, if you eat them in bed you will find crumbs months after, even if you wash your sheets every week, awesome sugar high but then you come down and your all depressed, added holiday weight which i suppose can be good to keep you warm in the midwest, and they make you thirsty!!!!

    HOWEVER, I am thankful for WINE! No matter your mood or taste there is always a bottle that can turn that frown upside down!!! oh and I’m thankful for my 2 bosomed one and only…YOU! (WOW, if you didnt know who I was that last comment would be total creeptown!)

  12. I would follow you anywhere…’cept maybe the woman’s bathroom…
    IDK about ‘Bitter Cookies’ I’m still trying to get the nasty taste out of my mouth from the last bite.

    As for being thankful, this is easy, 1) You are alive and well 🙂 2) You hadn’t deleted me from FB…whew 3) Cookies taste better with fresh milk 4) Most of all the choices and chances I have on a daily basis to keep moving forward or laydown and get my a$$ kicked…(did I mention I’m stubborn?)…

  13. I am thankful for….technology and the crazy smart ppl that made the gadgets I bought that I couldn’t afford! hurray! No but really…my world revolves around my phone…sad really, oh and thankful for sibling (eh, sometimes) and also for cookie contest! And for blogs…that can be blunt…but still deliver the goods..wink wink, ha (brownie points…i mean cookie points?)

  14. Im thankful Carrie Toman shared her pictures of the cookies that she got sent the other day and also that she told us about your company and that now we are going crazy wanting to try your cookies and get to know yourr company better.

  15. ohhhh, these cookies look fantastic!

    i need to win them. and i also need to say that i am happy to have my new baby puppy because he is so fluffy. but very bad at holding his bladder! i am following you on twitter!

  16. Yummm! Cookies! How generous of you! I need them because if you read my blog, you’ll know I’m poor and I shamelessly take all donations I can get.

    But for real, I’m thankful for chaos. My life used to be predictable and boring but since I followed your 12 steps on getting over a break up its beyond chaotic, spontaneous and fun. I guess that also means I’m thankful for you and your fantastic advice!

  17. I tried to say “thanks” via blog at work, but it’s blocked due to “personals and dating” – no joke. I mean, I’m dating all my karaoke activity partners, and some of my dates are getting personal, but I didn’t take Blunt D to be personals and dating per se. I took it more like the Oprah Show for white chicks with big dicks. Like me. And I meant to say earlier when I got home, but I’ve been taking photos of my tits with my phone and sending them to the platonic men in my life who have not so secret crushes on me for approval for some writing I’ll be doing this week. (The photos go along with the writing, trust me… I promise).

    Anyways – before my handful of pills kicks in, I just want to say a big ass blog thank you to you! Even though I sent that stripper to your door earlier, that was just not enough thanks. SO, THANK YOU! I’m going to get ripped shit drunk on Wednesday, and eat them in hospice on T-giving… all by myself – fuck yo’ family! (and in yo’ I mean mine!)

    XOXO – or has the Beer Distributor who gave me Mono text me – “Big Kiss, Mauh” – KAP

  18. Serves me right for not checking your site more regularly to see if you posted. Those cookies are beyond awesome. Someone will be happy to get those.
    I’m thankful for all my fabulous bloggy friends. Always makes me smile to stop by and read your craziness. Good to know I’m not the only highly functional dysfunctional.
    Now, I’m off to write a post. Maybe I can get something up today.

  19. ‘But I can’t do this all on my own,
    No, I know, I’m no superman’

    I see what this is all about. You don’t bag yourslef an I.Q of 100 (out of 100, I imagine) without having the ability for noticing patterns.

    You’re all giving thanks about something, aren’t you? We don’t do this in England, really…

    But mine are……….hang on…….who the hell carries the notion that they can possibly do everything in work and life themselves? That’s an outrageous starting point. Ridiculous song…………

    errrmm……where was I? oh yeah……..’They’ say every society is 3 full meals away from revolution (except hollywood with their fad diets of course but they’re sure round there, that good looking people survive war anyway) so I’d like to thank all the real people who work in the factories etc that bring me my stale sandwiches for lunch. Mainly because though, if one day there is revolution I just know it will be too damn noisy. What with the baying crowds and all, who I will then proceed to call sell-outs as they won’t see the irony of not folowing my suggestion to revolt in a revolutionary manner by doing it quietly. Then I’ll be killed for all the wrong reasons.

    Until this is sorted, I thank my stale sandwiches.

    Oh and people who are really good with Yo-Yo’s. They always cheer me up…..and you?

    P.S…. I like this, you doing competitions. You should do more, like, I dunno, win my left sock or something. I’d enter that one………my doctor says I shouldn’t be ashamed of that particular fetish. And that I need to reach out more. So that would be great, thanks.

    • …But I am thankful for meeting such wonderful and REAL people like yourself! Happy Thanksgiving Blunt! From the Philippine islands (for the holiday).

      Yours TRUEly,
      TRUEMAN “Michael”

  20. I’m thankful for the cookies I will get from you. I really really really am! Have you seen how incredibly malnutritioned I am?!?!? Graduate students, if you must know, live off the scraps and leftovers thrown out in our dingy cafeteria. So, let me ask you this–> would YOU like to be the one to put a smile on my face and an end to the dreadful noises in my stomach that are probably starting to wake up the neighbors? And when I say neighbors I mean the hairy guys who live next to my cardboard box under this bridge.

    Gobble gobble!!!!!

  21. hey sweetcheeks, glad to have seen u around my place…im having bloggy break…aka im stumped on what to write… just not in the bloggy writing mood lately. I owe LITD one post and an interview..haha

    i just had 4 ok fine..6 oreo cookies that i should not have had… itll all go to my stomach or arms…stupid latino fat storage areas why cant it go to my boobs and booty?? why not i ask u why not!?

    ill pass on the cookies but i may use this in my business ideas diary. im trying to find something to make into a business that will make me millions and i dont have to work for sucky bosses anymore… 😀 luv ya (and ur goofy sweaters…)

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