October 7, 2011

Life Lately In Pictures: Road Trippin & Lady Elaine Fairchilde

in Confessions, Photo Posts

I have a billion things to get caught up on today. Which is exactly why I just started a Lady Elaine Fairchilde Twitter account three minutes ago. In fact, she just tweeted her first pic: “Missin my peeps from the ‘hood today. Went 2 ChuckECheese 2b around other creepy puppets w/ wood faces.” She’s also claimed the hashtag #puppetproblems.

So, back to why I was MIA this week. Unlike all the other times I have BS excuses, this one is legit. I got a text from my friend Kira on Monday: “I need to talk to you for two seconds. You’re gonna listen, then say yes, and then figure it out later.  Mmmk?”  Um.

Kira is a virtual friend and partner of mine over at The College Crush. She lives in Madison-ish, and I live in Chi-area but we’ve only hung out once. Well, she was speaking at the University of Michigan and wanted yours truly to accompany her. Apparently, one hang out is all it takes for someone to know that any kind of a trip would be better if I were in the passenger seat.  Some things in life are just blinding truths.

Kira: Just say yes.

Me: But, I have so much to do this week.

Kira: I’ll make an awesome play list, bring a basket of snacks and pick you up at your door.

Me: Eh.

Kira: My plan is to be done speaking by 1 and drinking martinis by 2 on Wednesday.

Me: You have my address right?

This is me putting on my best “Yay, we’re about to embark on a road trip” face, when on the inside I’m thinking, “I can already feel the car sickness and misery from my undersized bladder having to overextend itself.”

Kira may or may not have mentioned the trip would be 4 hours. Yea, nope.

Of course, the 8 hours probably could have been shortened had our main agenda not been to find a particular restaurant we were craving. It also would have gone shorter had we not gotten sidetracked by making fun of all the adult store names in Hammond, Indiana. Once we got closer to the hotel, Kira was telling me that she researched the reviews to find us a good one.

Me: As long as it doesn’t have a door that leads to the outside, I’ll be okay.

Kira: Well, crap. I don’t know if it does. You should have said something.

Me: Aren’t you aware that’s how all horror movies start?

Kira: It’s going to be fine. And if not, I’ll get us a different one tomorrow.

Me: I’m not that high maintenance. It’ll be okay. {hyperventilates}

Well, after checking the mattresses for bedbugs, securing my luggage up off the ground, barring the door shut with a chair and switching out the blankets for my own…. we cracked open some wine and relaxed. But I’m not sure how our nightstand ended up like this in the morning.

The next day, Kira and I empathized with the students and their parking problems. There wasn’t a spot for miles. Kira put on her glasses and we made like teachers. We’re a class act.

Apparently we weren’t the only ones who were depressed by the parking issues…

After Kira’s speech, we went out with some of the coolest, smartest, awesomest college students ever. They just didn’t make em like this back in my day. We may or may not have persuaded them to skip classes to hang out with us.

As promised, martini was in hand by 2pm.

Then again at 2:15. Ahem.

Then we kidnapped one of the students and made him show us good pizza places. We chose this one based on the Christmas lights, but lucky for him it had amazing pizza too.

Oh, did I mention both Kira and I are gluten intolerant?

And did I mention all we did was eat gluten on this trip from start to finish?

What we lack in self control we make up for in awesome. I learned long ago you can’t have it all.

So yea, I’ll be around to your blogs very soon.

 

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{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }

Bearman October 7, 2011 at 2:32 pm

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“As long as it doesn’t have a door that leads to the outside, I’ll be okay”

Sadly that is the only requirement I have for a hotel. Even more sad (for my wallet), my wife’s requirements cost a lot more.

Blunt Delivery October 7, 2011 at 3:04 pm

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bahahaha! you too!!! are you skurred of the semi drivers too???

Bearman October 7, 2011 at 4:55 pm

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No bed bugs.

bluntdelivery October 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

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hahahaha. um, i’m like, way paranoid about them. like more paranoia than normal amount

nursemyra October 7, 2011 at 5:04 pm

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Exotic potatoes? Coloured martinis? Glutinous gobbling? I hope you had your astronaut pads with you

bluntdelivery October 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

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oh man. our stomachs were definitely protesting that trip.

Ron October 7, 2011 at 7:55 pm

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Okay, first, I don’t even drink martini’s and those look faaaaaaaabulous!

The thing that always entices me to have a martini is the presentation. They just look so cool!

I’m so glad you decided to take this little day trip because (I find) that sometimes when I do something spontaneously and break away from my plans, I get so inspired. I’m taking a day trip into NYC this month and I can’t wait because I always come back totally energized and full of creativity. I ADORE that city!

“after checking the mattresses for bedbugs, securing my luggage up off the ground, barring the door shut with a chair…”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! CRACKED. ME. UP., GIRL!

Yeah, I would have done the same thing!

Have a fantabulous weekend, bestie!

X

bluntdelivery October 8, 2011 at 12:49 pm

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yea it was refreshing. although there was a lot of travelling in those three days…. and for carsick prone peeps that isn’t the best.. but we had tons of fun! and it was great to get away.

ughhhh you’re so close to NYC i’m jelly!!!!!!

Tracy October 8, 2011 at 10:55 am

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Oh how fun! Martinis at 2, yes please.

Bed bugs – aghg! When I was travelig a lot, I seriously thought about buying one of those “light wands” that you wave over things to kill germs with UV rays…or whatever kind of waves kill germs. Note – do. not. see. Contagion. Good movie, but totally creeped me out.

bluntdelivery October 8, 2011 at 12:48 pm

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aaaaaaaaaaaahahahah tracy!!!! don’t event think I’m beyond one of the light wands!!! i won’t even touch the blankets.eew!!

Um, yea, i saw the preview for that and i was like, that’s the last movie i need to see hahaha

Dan Perez October 8, 2011 at 11:54 am

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The so-called “A-List” bloggers (excuse me while I yawn) could learn a thing or two about how you can spruce up a simple blog post (did I just say “spruce up”?) about two girls on a roadtrip with some nice photographs.
Cheers :)

bluntdelivery October 8, 2011 at 12:45 pm

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psssh… aw shuckles.

i mean, i try. it’s not easy being awesome. bahahaha. thanks dan!

Shorty August 27, 2014 at 7:28 pm

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Hey, that’s poeulfwr. Thanks for the news.

J October 8, 2011 at 6:08 pm

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I know you have a family that you love, but I’m thinking of crashing my sad, just-broken-up-with brother’s house in Chicago for Thanksgiving and I think maybe you should come hang out with us.

I won’t make you eat gluten. Unless you want to. Then it’s totally ON.

(Seriously though – want to?)

bluntdelivery October 8, 2011 at 9:44 pm

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Um. Don’t toy with me in any sort of way.

Espech emotionally.

DO IT!!!! I cannot express my pending excitement over this news.

Catherine October 8, 2011 at 6:43 pm

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Looks like fun! Now you’ve got me wanting martinis. Badly. :)

bluntdelivery October 8, 2011 at 9:44 pm

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;) they were delish.

granny annie October 10, 2011 at 7:50 am

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The last motel we stayed in not only had a back door, the lock had been broken on it and the door would not remain closed. I worried but traveling with my “trained killer” husband makes it easier.

Now about this “gluten intolerance”? Just what does it mean if you still managed to consume all that gluten? Will it cause you to self destruct? Guess we will know if you don’t post again.

bluntdelivery October 10, 2011 at 9:54 am

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well i’m not intolerant like Celiac disease intolerant. My body just doesn’t process it well and it makes me sick, fatigued and bloated if I do.

But that doesn’t stop me, clearly! haha

NikkiB October 10, 2011 at 8:35 am

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I once lived in a house where my door opened to the outside. Oh wait. No. It opened to the kitchen. The other six bedrooms opened to the outside.

But it was Hawai’i and I was 24 and had 10 roommates, so it was cool (surely a killer would start downstairs with the first five, right?)

Although. Come to think of it, that house also had cockroaches (even flying ones), mice, rats, and was swarmed not once but twice by termites.

Perhaps not that cool. It was still HI and I was still 24.

bluntdelivery October 11, 2011 at 9:16 am

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hahaha!

Um, i’m sure anything in hawaii is automatically okay. btw.

except now that you said it was infested with things, i disagree with previous statement.

zman October 10, 2011 at 1:28 pm

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Blunt

Martini’s , Reeeses’ cups and snickers bars..I am there..now thats how you do it…looked like a fun trip…I have always parked in spots that said restricted for admin use, faculty, chief of Police and so on….as long as you stay out of the handicap spot…did you know if you park in that spot your car will get turned upside down…i saw that on a tv show….zman sends

bluntdelivery October 11, 2011 at 9:13 am

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Um.

People get cray cray about the handicapped spots! My grandma used to keep her expired one after she didn’t need it and put it in my moms car when they went shopping.

terrible.

Me October 10, 2011 at 6:48 pm

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Sounds like fun! I haven’t been on a random road trip in forever… and I’ve been on a quest to find Mr. Rodgers for my daughter. NOBODY should be allowed to grow up without Lady Elaine Fairchilde. . . nobody.

bluntdelivery October 11, 2011 at 9:12 am

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hahaha. seriously i mean, i think she can do better than Elaine, cus i still have nightmares over her!

linlah October 10, 2011 at 10:42 pm

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You know Staff Parking leads to Student Affairs.

No, no, I’m talking about offices silly. GAH.

bluntdelivery October 11, 2011 at 9:11 am

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bahahahaha. pssssh.

Thoughts Appear October 11, 2011 at 8:42 am

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What kind of martinis are the blue ones? I like things that are blue-flavored.

Also, if I was a guy, I’d wear my hair like that dude’s hair.

bluntdelivery October 11, 2011 at 9:12 am

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Um, that guy was awesome btw. I would too.

and they were firecracker martinis… awesome!! not even sure why they were blue though. haha

Diane @ home sweet homemade October 11, 2011 at 12:28 pm

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isn’t that funny how one thing that isn’t remotely related to food can be a significant influence in selecting a restaurant? I’m so with you on the twinkle lights. I’d pick the twinkle light restaurant over a non-twinkle light restaurant 10 times out of 10. And I promise you I’d tell myself the food tasted better. looks like y’all had a great time, judging by the state of the beverage tray (I mean, night stand) and the smiling college students holding martini glasses. :)

blunt delivery October 14, 2011 at 1:21 pm

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srsly… twinkle lights make everything better! i instantly feel at home. and yea… we had a blast!

Misty October 11, 2011 at 2:03 pm

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Mmmm . . . glutens. Totally worth it.

What, praytell, are those deliciously beautiful concoctions? I had a martini this weekend with Patron in it when I told the waiter to “surprise me.” It was my first time. And it was quite delicious. Is one of those a frozen martini? I am so craving a drink right now, you don’t even know.

blunt delivery October 14, 2011 at 1:21 pm

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yes, the frozen one was raspberry. the blue ones were firecracker martinis… and the other ones were dreamsicle!

bschooled October 11, 2011 at 10:52 pm

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Okay, first of all, the Lady Elaine Fairchilde Twitter account could very well be the most brilliant idea EVAH.

Second, I am so jealous I am seething right now. Okay, well, maybe not seething. (But only because I’ve never bothered to look up what that really means.)
Would it have killed you guys to take a short detour to Alberta to pick me and my undersized bladder up on the way?

Third, EXOTIC POTATO CHIPS?? Why do you Americans always have all the best shit??

blunt delivery October 14, 2011 at 1:22 pm

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um. we were 15 mins from canada… true story.

Jen October 12, 2011 at 7:53 am

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Okay, I want to go on a road trip with you gals next time. I’m sure I’ve got wonderful words of wisdom for the college kids. At 42, I’ve got it all figured out. Well, maybe not but I can eat pizza and drink martinis with the best of them.
Glad you had a good time.

blunt delivery October 14, 2011 at 1:23 pm

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we did jen! and it woulda been awesomesauce if you were with us!!!

snarky October 12, 2011 at 2:55 pm

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someone SHOULD be bringin’ back Lady Elaine. am not surprised it’s you! hehe.

blunt delivery October 14, 2011 at 1:24 pm

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hahaha. i mean, i brought her back only to make fun of her. she’s creepy as HEAL

maggie October 12, 2011 at 8:40 pm

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there’s such a thing as a bedbug sniffing dog. just so you know. in case one day you decide you want a dog.
also, i haven’t even hung out with you once, and i’m pretty sure i’d love to have you in my passenger seat on any road trip. And if your bladder is small, my dog would probably appreciate your company as well.

now I want martinis. . .

blunt delivery October 14, 2011 at 1:25 pm

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are you forreal????

um, we would have a cray cray road trip. i wanna do a BD commenter road trip, cus i’m pretty sure you all are amazeballs.

singlegirlie October 14, 2011 at 2:03 am

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Girl trips rock! Especially when martinis and gluten are involved. BTW, serious question, how did you figure out you were intolerant? Tom has gut problems like the dickens and no doctor can tell him what it is.

blunt delivery October 14, 2011 at 1:27 pm

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i read a thing about people who can’t process yeast… and it had a lot of the symptoms. i didn’t wanna pay for a bunch of tests, so my friend who is gluten intolerant (kira actually) so i just elminated wheat and white flour for a couple days (pasta, bread and anything with gluten) and saw how i felt. and it pretty much eliminated my probls.

yea. sux

singlegirlie October 14, 2011 at 7:52 pm

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Man, that does suck. I live on bread and pasta. I tried to get Tom to go gluten-free one weekend, and it lasted about two hours. Sigh. You can lead a cow to water. Or is it a horse? Thanks for the info, Blunty!

Jas October 14, 2011 at 10:02 am

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Well, it wasn’t all injected full of glutenous materials. I mean, martinis? Psh, no gluten there!

Where are all the girls who like to road trip, eat exotic potato chips, and drink fabulously decorated beverages in my neck of the woods?

blunt delivery October 14, 2011 at 1:28 pm

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um. maybe you need to move to a different woods?? i.e. chicago area?????????????????

Goradde October 15, 2011 at 6:29 am

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road trip and martinis sound so good right meow.

blunt delivery October 17, 2011 at 11:18 am

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it twas ;) and welcome to BD!

Dr. Cynicism October 17, 2011 at 2:20 pm

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1) “You have my address right?” Damn good answer.
2) I’m now totally following Lady Elaine’s Twitter account.
3) That license place kicks ASS!
4) I miss you.

Blunt Delivery October 27, 2011 at 8:49 pm

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um, miss you crazysauce

mexican October 18, 2011 at 6:57 am

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why do you always take self pics while in your car?!

Blunt Delivery October 27, 2011 at 8:49 pm

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cus i want to. and you’re not there or i’d be taking them of you.

Pauline October 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm

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Yay! Roadtrip! Sounds like it was fun! Too bad “SadTown” wasn’t in on the good times! ;)

Blunt Delivery October 27, 2011 at 8:50 pm

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hahaha, i know right??

Tony Scott October 26, 2011 at 4:59 am

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What an adventure! blue martinis huh! keep going!

SpilledInkGuy November 7, 2011 at 8:15 am

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I’ve never… really had a martini.
Which I feel like I should work on.
Because I get the feeling it would totally class me up a bit.
*urp*
Ah, who am I kidding. That ship ‘done sailed’ off a looooong time ago.
:)

Alexandra November 10, 2011 at 8:45 am

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Came over from when pigs fly.

She was right: I am so happy here.

Sitting here smiling at your posts.

You’re like sunshine today, on a cold ‘sconnie morning.

Thank you.

I want to start a fake twitter account, too: gotta think of something funny first.

Maybe I’ll do some fake tweets on a crazed Nononineerhimo 30 day writing thing that’s going on right now. Something about a white rhino, a nanny rhino?

The Constant Complainer November 12, 2011 at 7:54 pm

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Dude, is it me or is every Chuck E Cheese 100% different, dirtier and more freaky than we remember as kids? LOL.

Eliza August 27, 2014 at 9:31 pm

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As Charlie Sheen says, this article is “WI!NINGN”

olive August 3, 2012 at 2:41 am

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I just love the beautiful colors and contrast of your work. please keep them coming!

your new fan,
Olive <3

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