people

[ Blunt Bites break away from my normal, detailed laugh-out-loud (right?) posts. They are like snapshots of a significant part of my life. Sometimes, they're serious. Sometimes, they're funny. But they're always gonna be delicious. Yum. ]

I was living in London at the time. One night, some friends and I decided to eat dinner at an Italian cafe; and if there’s anything more disappointing than London food, it’s London food trying to be Italian. As we drank our wine, I jotted down some thoughts in my journal while listening to the rain hit the windows.

I noticed you walk in and take a seat at the table by the window, where you had a perfect view of the beautifully wet cobblestone streets. I would have done the same thing. Those streets are still my favorite part of London. Your glasses were huge, and at first glance I thought you might be a man. You weren’t. Just an elderly lady wearing a beautiful dress and oblivious to the world around you. When a bottle of expensive champagne arrived, I was certain that you were waiting for someone. Anniversary, perhaps? Milestone birthday? As you finished your dinner, I couldn’t help but wonder.

But no one ever joined you that night. And it became increasingly evident by your level of confidence, that was what you expected.

Part of me felt sad for you.

The other part, jealous.

{ 27 comments }

Blunt Bites: An Old Italian Guy Named Joe

Blunt Bites March 27, 2011
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[ DISCLAIMER: Blunt Bites break away from my normal, detailed laugh-out-loud (right?) posts. They are like snapshots of a significant part of my life. Sometimes, they're serious. Sometimes, they're funny. But they're always gonna be delicious. Yum. ] I met Joe while working at a retirement home and almost instantly, we connected. During my first week of [...]

32 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

There Is No Greater Pleasure In Life – Except There Is

Confessions August 30, 2010
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I’m currently sitting in a room of the criminal justice center, surrounded by a group of my fellow unbiased peers. I assure you, none of them have formed any prejudices in the course of their lives and they possess the ability, as do I, to hold someone’s fate in their completely non-judgmental hands. Of course, [...]

23 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

It’s Like Something Out Of Deliverance

Relationships May 13, 2010
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[I'm so sick of people saying that. And I'm so sick of other movies referencing that movie. I've never seen Deliverance and so every time someone makes a reference, I don't get it.  When I ask what the movie is about people always say, "Horrible. Don't watch it. Creeptown city. People get tortured and stranded and it's just [...]

37 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

An Ode To Park Benches And Passion

Confessions May 6, 2010
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“The Greeks didn’t write obituaries. When a man died, they asked only one question: did he have passion?” I help take care of this elderly man named Allen. He can’t remember what happened five minutes ago, but he can give you a play by play of everything that happened during his time in WWII. Sadly, [...]

17 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Kenny Chronicles: Don’t Cry Or My Fake Tan Will Run

Confessions December 9, 2009
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[For those of you who don't know who my metrosexual best friend Kenny is, please read this post. Then do yourself a favor and get a clue.] Most of you may have noticed I’ve been on a bit of a happiness protest this year. Well, hopefully this helps to explain things a bit. I was [...]

37 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

So I Fell Asleep In A Few Bible Classes

Relationships November 4, 2009
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“The magic of first love is our ignorance that it will never end.” You know I thought boys had cooties til I was about 17, right?  Up until that point, I viewed them only as despicable creatures sent to this earth as God’s punishment to Eve. It’s possible I fell asleep in a few Bible [...]

40 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

We Can’t Even Afford Boxed Wine

Confessions October 19, 2009
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Last November I received an early Christmas present. And I want you to know that I’m currently fighting the urge to chase the rabbit trail topic that is “the Holidays” …even though that rabbit happens to be a big, fluffy, white one that I’m very attracted to.  I’m doing this for you, because I realize [...]

44 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery