sarcasm

Boy + Girl + Blogging + Chicago + Frizzy Hair = BlogDate

Relationships September 29, 2010

Listen. I’ve already paused the Roseanne marathon. I’ve canceled my plans to work out with Jo, the unofficial roommate. And I’m trying to set down my caramel apple spice long enough to type this, but considering it tastes like Christmas morning exploded in my mouth, I can’t make any promises. Why am I going to such extremes, you [...]

Blog Dating Is The New Black/ eHarmony/ Twitter/ SpeedDate/ Facebook Poke

Relationships September 24, 2010

No. This time I didn’t do anything drastic like move to London or start a retail store or give up tanning. But, I did meet up with a complete stranger from New York for a two-day BlogDate in Chicago, which I may have mentioned one, or fifty times, on my FaceSpace. I had to make [...]

80 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Remember When You Hated Me, But You Were Lying To Yourself?

Confessions September 19, 2010

“Out beyond the ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” – Rumi So, okay. We’re in the field, you and me. Now, I want you to take a moment. Sit down. Relax. Close your eyes. Clear your mind and try not to ponder the great mysteries of the world such [...]

32 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Dear Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred Workout DVD,

Confessions September 7, 2010

Two weeks ago, you entered my home with all of the optimism of Christmas morning. But lately, I feel like we’re at odds. I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but the other night your eyes looked a bit more angry than normal. And I sensed a hinge of animosity in your voice as [...]

22 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

There Is No Greater Pleasure In Life – Except There Is

Confessions August 30, 2010

I’m currently sitting in a room of the criminal justice center, surrounded by a group of my fellow unbiased peers. I assure you, none of them have formed any prejudices in the course of their lives and they possess the ability, as do I, to hold someone’s fate in their completely non-judgmental hands. Of course, [...]

23 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

That Time The World Just Made Sense

Confessions August 13, 2010

No, you’re completely right. That never happened. It’s almost like my witty, overly-dramatic titles don’t even fool you anymore. I guess that could be a good thing, cus it means we’re getting past the honeymoon phase of our relationship, eh? But if we’re being honest, which I think we are, my mom never thought it would last. [...]

22 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

I’m In A Relationship With Life, And It’s Complicated

Confessions July 30, 2010

So what is the secret, exactly? And please refrain from referring me to the best-selling book, Secret, as highly endorsed by Oprah. I don’t care much for self-help books. Or Oprah. Or tube tops. And more obvious things like Ranch dressing and humidity. I’d say the majority of my life I’ve been what you might call “a planner.” And [...]

34 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Brace Yourself Kid, This Is BIG

Confessions March 26, 2010

Do you have your big girl pants on? If so, please check the fly because that would be grossly inappropriate for this blog. Are you ready to GET SERIOUS!? Are you ready to have your mind blown? I sure hope so, cus the last thing I need is for you to come crying to me when you’re [...]

28 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Dear 2009, I’m Ready To Forgive You For Your Bastardly Ways

Confessions January 8, 2010

You know how when you meet someone for the first time and there’s just that instant connection? As they explained on Sleepless in Seattle: magic. The stars align, and in that moment it’s as if the whole universe existed just to bring the two of you together? Well, that is not what happened when I was first introduced to [...]

42 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Kenny Chronicles: Don’t Cry Or My Fake Tan Will Run

Confessions December 9, 2009

[For those of you who don't know who my metrosexual best friend Kenny is, please read this post. Then do yourself a favor and get a clue.] Most of you may have noticed I’ve been on a bit of a happiness protest this year. Well, hopefully this helps to explain things a bit. I was [...]

37 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

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