Boy + Girl + Blogging + Chicago + Frizzy Hair = BlogDate

Listen. I’ve already paused the Roseanne marathon. I’ve canceled my plans to work out with Jo, the unofficial roommate. And I’m trying to set down my caramel apple spice long enough to type this, but considering it tastes like Christmas morning exploded in my mouth, I can’t make any promises.

Why am I going to such extremes, you ask? Or didn’t. I’m just assuming that you’re an engaged reader.

Wait, did someone say engaged? Cus I almost got claustrophobic.

So why am I climbing the highest peaks, crossing the deepest valleys and trudging through the murkiest swamps to write this post today? Because I heard through the grapevine that I went on a BlogDate in Chicago last week, and you are dying to hear all about it!  If that isn’t true, then I blame the women of the world. Blasted gossipers.

So how did this alleged BlogDate even come about? Everyone take a seat on the mat, I feel a coming-of-age story coming on!

Alright, boys and girls. Someday when you get older, and you have a blog of your own, you will start to get comments. Once in a while, you might notice a particularly witty comment that grabs your specific attention. You will then set out on a journey to explore that commentor’s blog. Don’t rush this -it will just come naturally, when the time is right. When you’ve met the right blog, you will find it to be equally as entertaining as the comments were, which will come as a pleasant surprise on some rainy Tuesday. I’m not going to set unrealistic expectations, but butterflies are a possibility.

At some point you will begin to wonder if this person has an actual face. One of you will harmlessly stalk the other and find them via a social networking site. In the event they do not have a social networking site, nor do they have a bio picture on their blog, it is safe to say that your BlogDate will never happen.

Should you both happen to not be repulsed by the sight of one another, you will start blowing up eachother’s Facebook pages. Then, in a random twist of fate, one of you will come up with a ridiculous excuse to give out your digits. [ In my case it was: “This might be my number. If you text me something that makes me laugh, I might introduce you to Oprah.”  A couple hours later I received this text: “I am sending this from my diamond encrusted pager.” ]

And before you know it, a boy from New York is on a plane to Chicago to go on a BlogDate with you.

Make sense?

Now, as awesome as this may seem, there comes a point where you finally come to grips with what you’re actually doing. For me, that moment came while I was on the train to Chicago. I will demonstrate my thought process with you in the following storyboard:

1. This wasn’t a thought process, but it was the largest Sangria I’ve ever seen. Luckily, Uncorked met up with me for some of these before I went to the airport.

2. WTF do my nails look purple in this light?! I swear, they looked black in my house! Why do I insist on living in an environment with no natural light? What am I a BAT?

3. Really? You could die today.

4. Eh, if I’m gonna die, at least it was in the name of journalism. Maybe Geraldo Rivera can do a reading at my funeral.

5. Way to burn your forehead with the curling iron this morning. Typical.

6. Family emergency so I can’t make it? Food poisoning? My hip locked up and I can’t walk? There was a bio-nuclear attack on the rail system? These all sound legit to me.

So we met. After twenty minutes I realized I wasn’t lying in a garbage bag in the back of a trunk, so my nerves let up a little bit. We went to Second City, which is a must for any visitor, followed by drinks at one of my favorite places. The next day, Chicago tried to break a record for hottest/most humid day in September ever. After sweating off a few pounds, we decided to find an indoor activity: The Art Institute of Chicago. BlogBoyfriend did his best impression of my favorite tortured artist, Van Gogh. They exchanged pleasantries and tried to one-up each other on who was more of a tortured artist. Blah, blah. I told them it’s all fun and games till someone loses an ear.

Careful, don’t laugh. DON’T!  Then I got him some real pizza. None of this anorexic, Kate Moss crap that New York likes to think is pizza.

All in all, I had as great of a time as you can possibly have with a complete stranger that you thought might want to kill you. But, he didn’t. In fact, he made me a mixtape. You may wonder, why oh why are there no pictures of you? Or the two of you? Well, I will now use my extensive Salvation Army Barbie collection to answer your question. Guys, Salvation Army. Expecting them to be clothed is asking a lot. And frankly, snobbish.

So surely, you understand.

But, when I visit New York, my hair will cooperate, I won’t burn my forehead, it won’t be a 100 degrees, I won’t have a panic attack, I won’t receive very bad news that morning, and there will be pictures! 

Go forth, risk your life, and get your BlogDate on.


69 thoughts on “Boy + Girl + Blogging + Chicago + Frizzy Hair = BlogDate

  1. I love this running commentary while we’re dating concept. It reminds me of the movie that Woody Allen named after me, where he and a woman did immediate post-match interviews after they’d boinked each other. The result was a scoring-draw. Do Americans know what a scoring-draw is?

  2. Whew! That chubby asthmatic kid was catching up to that ice cream cart. You know you got everyone anticipating reading about your BlogDate!
    For a while I was starting to think that you were lying in a bag in back of a trunk…The wait was worth it though. Classic!

    Like I said, “history in the making!” The future – blog weddings, bloggers giving birth to blogging children, “I Want to Marry a Millionaire Blogger” reality blog shows…All inspired by you and yours!

  3. Wow! You really did have a “blog date.” I thought this whole thing was just a build up to, well, I don’t know, some figment of your imagination. But, then I realized who I was reading and figured “she’s just crazy enough.” Looks like you two had a good time. So pleased you didn’t wind up in a garbage bag. Those thoughts would have been running through my mind as well.
    Will have to check out this mystery man’s site.

  4. “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an ear” bahahaha!!
    That is the craziest hair ever and the stringiest cheese ever. And the blog gentleman is quite possibly the most fetching blogger ever.
    I hate to be a downer, but now that you’ve had your fun with your blog soulmate, I must remind you that we made a pact to not be cows so we gotta dig that workout dvd out of the trash.

  5. Ugh. Where is my blog date? Does drinking with V count? It’s not a date, but we’re both bloggers. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I also want my moment in the spotlight. Stop hogging it with your blog dates.

  6. I love how even in your comments section, it shows I’m about to get drunk with Faux Trixie on Friday. Which, by the way, get your ass down here for it. Great post, love. Let me see your pretty face soon, please?!

  7. Ok, I just want you to know that I’m sitting here sipping my morning coffee and when I read this line and saw the Barbie Doll photos, I SPEWED!

    “I will now use my extensive Salvation Army Barbie collection to answer your question. Guys, Salvation Army. Expecting them to be clothed is asking a lot. And frankly, snobbish.”

    Bwhahahahahaahhhaha! You’re hysterical!

    Glad to hear your blogdate went well. Honestly, you guys make a cute couple.

    So looking forward to Saturdays interview!

  8. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh you actually did it! How exciting. And you lived to tell about it which, selfishly, is the most important aspect of this whole thing. Both of you should come to South Florida so we can party the night away and find ME a blogdate. Or any date. A hello will do.

  9. Wow, this was for reals? Like, for real, for reals? Wow, this really challenges Denny and I to step it up. We’ve never had pizza together, but then again, we have had virtual sex 147 times. Wait… was that in my head?

  10. That pizza looks delish…if I didn’t have a boyfriend, I would be all over this blogdating thing. I was “referred” to your site by V. She can blame me if and when her blogdate goes to sh*t. He is my best friend 🙂

  11. So what does a blog date actually MEAN? Did you Blog-hook-up afterwards? Are you now in a blog-LDR now?

    In any case, you are one BRAVE lady.

    Also – my bro just got tapped to be an understudy for the touring company of Second City. I think he’s doing a Sunday matinee this Sunday. If you’re bored, check him out. He’s a dick. But funny.

    PS: I want to email you about something soon.

    • j- a blog date, is exactly as i described in my video tutorial. weren’t you listening?!?! haha.

      aw man, i don’t think i’ll be near the city this weekend, i have an art fair thing i have to go to here to scope artists for the magazine. but i’d love to see him sometime. hit me up on FB!

  12. I’m sitting here holding my “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter” Spray in one hand and reading this blog date recap. (The butter spray works MIRACLES for dull hair – it really shines it up.)

    Why are you guys so glamorous with your pizza wars and artsy banter?

    I wanted to let you know this first, but I met someone really special, and he’s a blogger. The only issue is that he lives in Afghanistan, which isn’t that big a deal (Hello Southwest Airlines new fall routes!!!!), but we haven’t sent each other any texts or emails, so I’m kind of nervous about meeting him. Plus, he lists his address as some sort of cave. After reading about your blog date, I’m nervous about how my own hair will hold up. Would you go?

    Life coach me.


    • vodka – where was the butter spray when i needed it in chitown? can you be my standby hair touch up person for all my blogdates? thanks.

      well, whenever anyone asks me a question that might have to do with possibly losing your life because of a stupid decision, my answer is always yes.

      that being said, i would consider a different airline other than Southwest. Not just cus i despise all things southwesterny, but they need to step it up with their plane food.

  13. Dearest Lightening to My Thunder,

    Any chance you can set me up on a blogdate? With you?

    And I’m so happy that you are not lying in a garbage bag in the back of a trunk.

    Blissfully yours,


  14. Glad to see you’re not dead.

    Especially with a stranger but also in general, date preamble is often ludicrous isn’t it?

    You try to keep it spontaneous in order to appear a little edgy but also kinda laid back.
    Just then nervousness starts to distract logic from normal language and syntax with some kind of crazed lap dance by chiming in with these sorts of wonderful questions…….

    So………….er…………..what could we do?
    I know…..
    ‘Do you like comedy?’

    (OK freeze frame here……….what’s she going say? ‘Nah, not for me thanks. I hate laughing’ or possibly worse…. ‘Yeah OK, I like to laugh’…….. Well done Winston, that’s sure to bring any sarcasm paranoia gauge down)

    Or we could……..hmmmmm
    ‘Do you like food?’

    (WTF! How do you think she’s survived for the past 20 whatever years, Winston? Besides, you checked for needle marks from drug use at the start and of course that would cover any heavy intravenous use, wouldn’t it? These are basic pleasurable necessities to survival, what are you doing with these questions!?……..’Shh away internal voice’……… If, however, she deigns to reply to the worst question ever it will usually sound as bad as what’s prompted it ‘Yeah cool, I like to eat’………….Forgive us God)

    I’m sure you have your own examples.

    The thing is, even though I know what’s happening, when I find myself in the position of answering these questions from someone who’s just trying to be decent and interested, I can never avoid that mordacious landmine.

    So Winston, do you like music?

    Me) ‘Nah, I f*&king hate any type of sound’
    ‘The ipod is just for show’

    But hey, civilisation needs these platitudes to perform for most.

    Here’s the master

    If you haven’t seen this yet, then I’m afraid you were dead all along.


    (Oh yeah, I can’t believe that I have but I’ve actually heard of ‘Second City’ without having to consult Sir Google. Stephen Fry mentioned it in a BBC programme once. However, I have no idea about this Van Gough person.)

    I don’t like Art.


    (Oh yeah, yeah. Mix ‘TAPE!!?!.’ That’s cool, but if it was me I would’ve had to have stressed that I could have done this as a CD or as a playlist on a USB stick. Though female materialism can seriously irk me sometimes but is understandable in terms of protected offspring etc, I wouldn’t want her thinking ‘Aww, a mixtape, that’s retro sweet. I wonder if he has windows on his house.’)

    Tell us one of the songs,…. if you can?

  15. while i’m super happy you two had fun and you didn’t end up dismembered in a suitcase, I can’t get over the pizza being eaten with a fork.

  16. Thank you for taking us through your emotional rollercoaster experience of blog dating. This shall serve as an exemplar and template for others trying to pursue this technique. I applaud your courage! And the line about “Christmas exploding in your mouth” made me pee a little bit from laughing exertion. Thank you for that.

  17. I’m always you’re millionth comment because I’m so far out-of-the-loop, that I’ve circled it twice. [I’d like to think that somehow puts me AHEAD of the loop.] I took a blogcation and stopped blogging for a bit. And since I stopped blogging, I sort of stopped reading other blogs. I stopped reading other blogs because then I’d feel guilty for neglecting my blog. It was a vicious cycle. Anyway, I’m blogging again and naturally, needed to come read your blog lickety-split. Firstly, I’ve missed your awesomeness. Secondly, I’m happy he didn’t kill you. [more on this in my PS] Thirdly, I’ll have to check out his blog because if he was witty enough for you to stalk, then surely he must have a great blog.


    • Sherri – that DEFINITELY puts you at the front of the line. no worries… i’m just glad you’re back!!! missed you around these parts.

      and good point on the NYC… i’m gonna have to hire a “driver” for my stay. a very large, muscular, gun-carrying driver.

  18. bhahaha fantastic i loved it, as usual madam! 😀

    LITD and pizza … now i want some of that pizza…

    well a certain bloggyboy and I are considering going to vietnam together… yes stay tuned..hehe

  19. Wow, that was a great post. And it made me realize that a blogger had invited me on a BlogDate and I completely missed it. LOL. Oh well. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who would have concerns about personal safety/security and all that (rightfully so). So I think how you suggested it is a good way to start.

    P.S. I’m a huge Chicago fan. My two favorite places are Bistro Margot and the Billy Goat Tavern (newer one).

  20. i had a blogdate.
    well, not only once but twice.
    and the results were, ….
    well… disappointing 😀

    anyway, hope you dont mind that i’m blogrolling you 🙂

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