daughters

You may or may not have noticed that I write about my dad on here quite a bit. Everything from his complete and inexcusable ridiculousness to how he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. But, here’s the thing: my mom is just as cool.

Isn’t that just a disgusting problem to have?

In the middle of trying to scan these pictures, my printer ran out of ink and I had to go buy more just so my scanner would shut up and do it’s job. Can I just get a moment of appreciation for the great lengths I take to make this blog an aesthetically pleasing experience for you?

What’s that? You could care less?  Ugh.

So, my mother. Some might say she is protective. I might say she’s nuts. But after losing her 18 yr-old brother to a fluke motorcycle accident and almost losing both her children in nearly fatal car accidents, I cut her some slack.

In her early thirties, my mom finally escaped what turned out to be an abusive, adulterous marriage with her high school sweetheart and she married my dad. From then on, she gave up any personal aspirations in order to dedicate herself to my brother and I. She homeschooled me until 1st grade because she didn’t want me to leave. When I was young, she would play with my hair while telling me stories she made up about a magical fox. She always dreamt of writing children’s books.

She was the type of mom that had cupcakes waiting after school. She never had a ‘don’t spoil your dinner’ rule because life is just too short. She told me every day how beautiful I was even when my face was one giant zit and I accidentally came home with orangey-blonde-skunk-stripe highlights in my hair (I cried myself to sleep for a week). She taught me how to respect myself and how confidence is the key to just about everything. In my teen years, she made me call her the minute I got in my car so that she could pinpoint where I was in case my car broke down and I got kidnapped by a rapist. She never slept until I walked in the door – even if it was 4am – then we’d watch The Bachelor, or Entertainment Tonight. She’s not into jewlery, or vacations, or nice clothes – and she is undoubtedly the hardest person to buy for.

Now that her kids have left, my mom spends the majority of her time directing a tutoring/mentoring club for at-risk and underprivileged children. She always said that if she could have gone to college she’d be a teacher. And I guess, now, she sort of is.

But, even though I’m almost 30, she still calls me every night. She still makes me giant chocolate cupcakes and home made snack mix whenever she comes over. She still tells me how beautiful I am. When I was depressed, she sent me a card in the mail every day for three months – just to say she loved me.

And no matter how many times I have failed at all my different jobs and creative endeavors, no matter how many relationships I screwed up, she never – ever – has said that she is anything less than completely proud of me for who I am and what I’ve done, the mistakes I’ve made and how they’ve molded me. She’s always been right there, in the front row, picking up the pieces.

Her paranoia and pessimism have rubbed off on me a little. But so has her rock solid confidence, her compassion, her ability to laugh at nothing, and her baking skills.

So, tell me about your mom.

 

 

{ 44 comments }

Lessons In Awkwardness: Featuring My Dad

Confessions March 22, 2011
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So I may have mentioned my dad a time or two on this site. In case you aren’t familiar, here is a brief summary: Here’s the thing with my parents. My mom can’t turn a computer on and is still holding to her guns that The Internets will become the downfall of society. My dad [...]

46 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Dear Life, At Last I’ve Got You All Figured Out

Confessions April 28, 2010
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Sorry if you came here looking for the answers to life. Was that title misleading? My apologies that my posts have been a bit introspective lately, I suppose that’s because I’ve been doing a lot of introspecting. Or taking a lot of sleeping pills. Either way, deal with it. P.S. I’d like to extend my utmost [...]

14 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Naked Barbie Chillin On Some Cookies?

Confessions August 8, 2009
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[I'm laying on the floor photographing the above picture, when my dad walks in the room] Dad:  [said like he is trying to piece together the mystery of life] Barbie. Naked. Laying on a pile of mom’s chocolate chip cookies. [laughs hysterically and then pauses for two minutes.] I don’t get it. Well, sonofagun.  Maybe I don’t either. [...]

51 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

That Time I Got Scammed Into Raising Sheep

Family Matters July 9, 2009
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Okay, the sheep. As I’ve said before, I grew up in the country.  I was a poor, lonely, desperate housewife child living in the middle of nothing.  At some point, I presented my father with a couple of options.  And being the great father he was, he never shot down any ideas.  Directly, that is. [...]

55 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

That’s My Daughter? She Sure Is Stone Ugly

Confessions June 25, 2009
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That would be an exact quote from my loving, very proud, first-time father the moment I was born into this world.  I thought for years this was due to the fact that he had never seen a newborn in all it’s alien likeness before; however, my mom set the record straight when she told me I was indeed, [...]

44 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Dad, You Look Like A Pencil With A Frizzy Top

Confessions June 22, 2009
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My father, a self-proclaimed hippie and alcoholic until the day hemet my gorgeous mother, wore a brown leisure suit and platform shoes to his wedding.  I forgive him for this offense, only because my mother wore a black, sparkly pantsuit. I’m amazed my father had any sense at all when it came to raising a child. [...]

50 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

A Boy, Not Yet A Woman

Confessions April 20, 2009
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What exactly is it with the Recycle Bin on my desktop?  And why is it that every time I go to empty it, I accidentally delete it?  And why is it that when I go to search for it in my computer, it says ‘no results found?’   And why is my computer trying so hard [...]

59 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Your Daily Dose Of Paranoia

Confessions April 14, 2009
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This is a snapshot of my life on any given day.  …Piles of unopened mail.  …30 different notepads with in-decipherable scribbles of random thoughts that I’ve written down when I was supposed to be hanging out with someone.  After Easter, the Cadbury chocolate bar could be easily substituted for Reeses or anything but Milk Duds.  [...]

57 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery