That girl. The one whose overly pushy, Sicilian boyfriend was able to convince her that entering a beauty pageant, despite the fact she was allergic to hair spray, 4-inch heels, up-dos and beauty pageants, would be a super awesome way to get scholarship money for her overpriced private college education. The one with absolutely no rhythm or hand-eye coordination, who was forced to perform [...]
[This is part I of a two part series, inspired by the fact that I was deleting my Myspace account. I realized that they had saved every email correspondence from the past 6 years... it was like discovering the Pompeii of my social life. There they were, all my shennanigans. Pefectly and horrifically preserved.] PREFACE: To be a successful person in [...]
I want you all to know that it’s so deliriously late right now that I don’t even have any midnight oil left, I’m running on fumes. Or smoke. Or whatever would be left after you’ve burnt a crap ton of oil. Coldplay is my only companion at such an hour, so consider yourselves a priority. And I’m about to mesmerize [...]
I am a stay-at-home, unshowered writer and aspiring author of non-fiction books. During the past 10 years, I attended college in London, traveled the world, and dated a myriad of inappropriate men. Although I have successfully avoided crossing over that shaky, domestic bridge laden with overpriced weddings and screaming babies, I have still acquired a strong appreciation for sweatpants. I enjoy photography and chronicling my ridiculous life on this personal blog, where I also use my friends' lives for a cheap laugh. My biggest fears are mayonnaise and Neil Diamond.
That's sort of what this blog is about. Sort of. But don't hold me to it, or I'll get all claustrophobic.
You are welcomed with open arms and lukewarm sentiment.
