Kenny Chronicles: Technologically Challenged

So Kenny, my metrosexual best friend and I are doing some errands around town, when my mom calls:

Mom:  I have a pretty serious problem.

Me: What’s wrong?!?

Mom:  I can’t watch any of my shows.   And Dancing With The Stars is premiering tonight and I can’t watch that either!

Me:  Why? Do you want me to tape it?

Mom:  Well your dad said we need some kind of box to watch local channels now.  They’re all fuzzy.  Except I remind him to get one everyday, but he forgets to get one everyday.

Me:  A digital converter box?

Mom:  Is that the thing that will make the channels clear?

Me:  Yes.  Well, I could pick one up for you – I’m just running some errands.

Mom:  Well can you get it tonight?  I’ve already missed two weeks.

So Kenny and I go to Best Buy. Normally, my independent side refuses to ask for any kind of help from an associate.  I don’t know why, but we certainly don’t have time to diagnose that tonight.  I was in a HUGE rush, so as soon as we enter the door, I cringe a little and ask the security guy where the digital converter boxes are.  He says, “See the Home Theater sign?  Right under that.”  Sweet.  That doesn’t sound complicated.

Kenny and I reach the Home Theater section and wander up and down a few aisles.  Neither of us see anything resembling what we’re looking for.  We loiter around for a bit and I make eye contact with two associates, but they were helping other people.

digital-converter-boxMe:  Well, they HAVE to be here!  Do you see anything?

Kenny:  Really?  Look who you’re talking to.  Just ask someone or we’ll be here all day.

So a guy walks by and says he’ll be with me in a minute, but the minute never came.  Eventually, I can’t wait any longer so I told Kenny to wait where he was and I’d get some help.

Me:  Sir, I’m sorry.  I’m in a huge rush.  I just really need to find the digital converter boxes. I was told they’re in this section but I can’t find anything.

Best Buy Guy:  Oh, sure.  [he comes over to me and points] See right where that guys is?

Me: Yea.

Best Buy Guy:  He’s leaning right on em.  There’s a stack about 8’x4′.

And there it was.  The most gigantic pile of digital converter boxes that there ever was. And there was Kenny, just leaning on them with a confused look on his face.  Obviously, I had to snap a picture so I could make a public mockery of the moment.

For more of the Kenny Chronicles:

How We Met

How to Talk Yourself Out of Dating Almost Anyone

A Conversation at Starbucks

A Metrosexual in a Yankees hat

A Bad Gordita and Some Classy Water

Black Friday, Depression, and a Salvation Army Chair

28 thoughts on “Kenny Chronicles: Technologically Challenged

  1. You should invite me along the next time the technologically inclined two of you decide to go out for anything electronic. I could laugh hystericallyuh… help.

    • haha. yea, we laugh at ourselves pretty hard. all the time.

      I do need some kind of tech geeky friend around. that would be H A N D Y let me tell you.

      i can’t be good at absolutely EVERYTHING. I have a functioning website, i should get some sort of props

  2. I’m sure someone will give you props for that.

    I’m available for adoption for those looking for a “kind of tech geeky friend”. I won’t even bother giving you my qualifications, since it’ll all be Greek to you.

  3. Yeah, I usually don’t bother talking about it to anyone unless they specifically ask for an explanation. Typically it boils down to “this is better, it’s worth the money” or “You need this, not that.”

  4. He’s available for adoption….wonder if he’s got a six-pack and hawaiian shirt? I could use a cabana boy. Bring your own umbrellas. Oh, and you’ll have to do the explaining to my husband as to what you’re doing on the couch.

  5. i went into the “Good Guys” the aussie version of best buy to look for an HDTV all i wanted to do was look at pricing and see if any of them were within my budget and big enough so that i would be envy of all my fiends..friends i mean friends. Good Guys sales people are known to be Good Pain the Ass Pressure Sellers so I tried to not make any eye contact, eye contact invites attention and they think they have a sale hooked as they take two steps towards you. Long story short I ended up, very politely, telling the sales guy that his approach was not great, i felt pressured into buying and he should probably back off in future as it would cost him sales when dealing with people like me. He tried to take it personally but i pointed out to him that a good sales rep would/should/could just smile say (even if they dont)that they will take the feedback on board and let it go. but he wouldnt let it go. Until i said to him, “see i was tryign to be nice but now youve pissed me off, you need to let it go because now I will buy a TV but NOT from YOU and NOT from this store”. he tried to apologise blah blah blah.. and I ended up walking away from the store.

    • susi. you’ve just described why i haven’t bought a new car since 1998. I can’t deal with it. do you guys have the same vulture-esque car salesman techniques over there? it’s like, I just drive around and stay in my car and if i see one even so much as look out the window at me i’m gone.

  6. You can’t blame Kenny. Obviously by the looks of the picture, he was LOOKING AWAY from the display. So at any point you were actually looking AT KENNY, you were the one who missed them. ha ha.

    Tell your mom to get basic cable.

  7. Dammit Brit, we all know that I am the exception to these things. I’m an engineer with a personality AND I’m not a virgin, so obviously I don’t follow the stereotypes of “tech geeky friend” either (since that kind of goes hand in hand with being an engineer in the first place).

  8. Brit – yeah car salesmen are ruthless but i came across one a few years ago who was outright sexist he even laughed at me when i asked him questions bout the car and said “oh sweety come back with your dad ok?” all i asked was “has this car had any previous accidents?” and “can i see the log book?” i wanted to see the log book to see what kind of major services had been done on the car. that bastard!

    Brandon – id have to see evidence of your claims that 1) you are not pale as a cryptkeeper – you have my email address, so photos of you without a shirt will be welcomed from front, back and side angles…please provide a warning if i should view them with my sunnies on 2) proof that you are not a virgin – affidavits must be provided verbally or…

    Bearman – you are so wise… hehe.

    • hah. i like you susi. a good girl always requires proof. whether it be of the quality of used cars, or of pale geeky tech guys paleness level.

      Yea, i dont even bother anymore, i always bring a guy with when i do anything like that. otherwise its just annoying.

    • thats MY bad jules. I asked him to cuz it was on a camera phone and i didn’t want glare from the crazy flourescents. haha. but, its not an out-of the question behavior either. haha.

  9. Am I really being propositioned for half naked photos of myself before I get adopted as the “kind of tech geeky friend”? I’ll just take my infinite knowledge and wisdom elsewhere while you all suffer through retarded salesmen and not having a clue what is going on!

    • he’s a self-proclaimed metrosexual. Go ahead and read the blog “Kenny chronicles: a metrosexual in a yankees hat” and you’ll understand a little bit better.

      Just trust me on this one. 😉

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