February 21, 2009

Kenny Chronicles: A Bad Gordita and Some Classy Water

in Confessions, Kenny Chronicles

Again, if you don’t know who Kenny is, please do some research, get your life together, and then return back to this post.

[a telephone conversation between Kenny and I]

Me:  [yawn....]  so are we looking for paint colors for your room today or what?

Kenny:  [several seconds, but what feels like hours of groaning, sighing, and cover rustling]  well, I don’t feel so good.  I have food poisoning. I’ve been up all night vomiting.

Me:  Oh thank God, because I have waaay too much stuff to do today.

Me:  Food poisoning?  What did you eat?

Kenny:  Some kind of Gordita-nacho-something or other at Taco Bell at 3 am.

Me: Well, did you ever think that wasn’t going to give you food poisoning?  Oh, wait! I almost forgot to tell you the good news, World Market is going out of business.  I’m going to go see if I can find some cheap stuff.

Kenny:  When you’re there can you check and see if the Voss Water is on sale?

Me: Seriously?  I really doubt that water will be on sale.

Kenny:  Well, can you just check because I need some.

Me: You only like it because of the cool glass bottle.

Kenny:  No I don’t.  I like the taste of the water.

Me: It can NOT taste that much better than the other waters of the world that you can justify paying 3.49 a bottle.

Kenny:  Yes it does.

Me:  Ok.  Well, I’ll going to level with you.  I’m going to World Market today.   While I’m there, I’m going to wander aimlessly and manhandle a a large amount of useless nic-nacs and large African vases that I have no intention of buying.  But chances are, I probably won’t have time to check on the price of the water.

For more of the Kenny Chronicles:

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