Again, if you don’t know who Kenny is, please do some research, get your life together, and then return back to this post.

[a telephone conversation between Kenny and I]

Me:  [yawn….]  so are we looking for paint colors for your room today or what?

Kenny:  [several seconds, but what feels like hours of groaning, sighing, and cover rustling]  well, I don’t feel so good.  I have food poisoning. I’ve been up all night vomiting.

Me:  Oh thank God, because I have waaay too much stuff to do today.

Me:  Food poisoning?  What did you eat?

Kenny:  Some kind of Gordita-nacho-something or other at Taco Bell at 3 am.

Me: Well, did you ever think that wasn’t going to give you food poisoning?  Oh, wait! I almost forgot to tell you the good news, World Market is going out of business.  I’m going to go see if I can find some cheap stuff.

Kenny:  When you’re there can you check and see if the Voss Water is on sale?

Me: Seriously?  I really doubt that water will be on sale.

Kenny:  Well, can you just check because I need some.

Me: You only like it because of the cool glass bottle.

Kenny:  No I don’t.  I like the taste of the water.

Me: It can NOT taste that much better than the other waters of the world that you can justify paying 3.49 a bottle.

Kenny:  Yes it does.

Me:  Ok.  Well, I’ll going to level with you.  I’m going to World Market today.   While I’m there, I’m going to wander aimlessly and manhandle a a large amount of useless nic-nacs and large African vases that I have no intention of buying.  But chances are, I probably won’t have time to check on the price of the water.

For more of the Kenny Chronicles: