So Kenny, my metrosexual best friend and I are doing some errands around town, when my mom calls:
Mom: I have a pretty serious problem.
Me: What’s wrong?!?
Mom: I can’t watch any of my shows. And Dancing With The Stars is premiering tonight and I can’t watch that either!
Me: Why? Do you want me to tape it?
Mom: Well your dad said we need some kind of box to watch local channels now. They’re all fuzzy. Except I remind him to get one everyday, but he forgets to get one everyday.
Me: A digital converter box?
Mom: Is that the thing that will make the channels clear?
Me: Yes. Well, I could pick one up for you – I’m just running some errands.
Mom: Well can you get it tonight? I’ve already missed two weeks.
So Kenny and I go to Best Buy. Normally, my independent side refuses to ask for any kind of help from an associate. I don’t know why, but we certainly don’t have time to diagnose that tonight. I was in a HUGE rush, so as soon as we enter the door, I cringe a little and ask the security guy where the digital converter boxes are. He says, “See the Home Theater sign? Right under that.” Sweet. That doesn’t sound complicated.
Kenny and I reach the Home Theater section and wander up and down a few aisles. Neither of us see anything resembling what we’re looking for. We loiter around for a bit and I make eye contact with two associates, but they were helping other people.
Me: Well, they HAVE to be here! Do you see anything?
Kenny: Really? Look who you’re talking to. Just ask someone or we’ll be here all day.
So a guy walks by and says he’ll be with me in a minute, but the minute never came. Eventually, I can’t wait any longer so I told Kenny to wait where he was and I’d get some help.
Me: Sir, I’m sorry. I’m in a huge rush. I just really need to find the digital converter boxes. I was told they’re in this section but I can’t find anything.
Best Buy Guy: Oh, sure. [he comes over to me and points] See right where that guys is?
Me: Yea.
Best Buy Guy: He’s leaning right on em. There’s a stack about 8’x4′.
And there it was. The most gigantic pile of digital converter boxes that there ever was. And there was Kenny, just leaning on them with a confused look on his face. Obviously, I had to snap a picture so I could make a public mockery of the moment.
For more of the Kenny Chronicles:
How to Talk Yourself Out of Dating Almost Anyone
A Metrosexual in a Yankees hat