What I’m really here to talk about is dating a middle child. I’m not one, but I’m here to tell you that if you are it’s okay. A middle child is not the one you need to worry about… it’s the only child thats the problem. For the love of everything peaceful, do not date an only child.
Take it from me, a quasi-only child. Considering that I’m not even a full only child, I’m messed up. If you’re wondering how it came to be that I’m not a whole only child, well that is too bad because I’m not getting into that tonight kids. So here are the 5 reasons why you shouldn’t date someone like me:
1. We all want ginormous families. You try spending countless summers selling lemonade by yourself and playing house with only a mommy or daddy and see how you feel. Plus, all the stress of grandkids rides solely on our shoulders.
2. We don’t like to share things. It’s not so much that we don’t want to share, but we just like the things that are ours, to stay ours.
3. We are either obsessed with pets or can’t stand them. There’s no happy medium for an only child. Growing up, we either learned to console our loneliness by surrounding ourselves with fuzzy woodland creatures, or we were so self-absorbed with ourselves that the thought of taking care of a pet was entirely overwhelming.
4. We have a tendency to be control freaks. Most only children are the center of their parents’ universe, thus are the product of an overprotective and overbearing upbringing. Which means when we grow up, we freak out and have to be in control of everything. Everything.
5. We have ridiculous, impossible to meet expectations. And unfortunately, we don’t just put these expectations on ourselves, but everyone we meet. This is because all the focus was on us and we have an inner need to over achieve. So good luck with that.
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
it’s true. im dating an only child and they have a lot of the tendencies you mentioned (especially sharing issues!). It took me forever to figure out why he has the personality that he does and why he always seemed sort of emotionally and socially stunted for a 27 year old… then one day it just hit me! only child syndrome, duh.
I’m the oldest of two female children, dating an only child male. Good god, help me for falling in love with this man!
He is stubborn, impatient, oppinionated, hard-headed, inflexible….but he when he realizes I’m hurt his eyes go soft and I cannot resist him. Charm, confidence, fearlessness, clingyness. This is not a very mature person open to change and exploration. I’m hoping that my patience will rub off, but I’m not holding my breath. He’s been generous with me, but he seems to think that what he wants should always be first consideration, and he tries to make it look like his ideas were really what I wanted. Manipulation, for certain. I realize, though, that we’re all human, and so, I shall give this a fair chance.
Now, if I could just get him off the phone with his mother!
Oh well…
I could hug you!!! You are so right. Going through it right now. Won’t do it again. That’s for sure
Spot on. I have dated quite a few only child types. I attract them for some reason. I am the oldest males of two sisters. A lot of only children do not learn how to negotiate or compromise. They are stubborn and run to their parents when they do not get their way.
My wife is an only child and I often wonder if her personality quirks are the result of her lacking siblings or if it’s just a coincidence. I think that her ambition and dutifulness to her parents results from her being an only child, but she is only a “control freak” about certain things. She likes the bed made “just so” but she has no equivalent tendencies in anything else. She also has no desire to have a large family. One or two is the number of kids she wants.
My issue with being with an only child is that family gatherings are kinda dull. I miss the happy chaos of a bigger family.
I was with an only child for 2 years and we split 7 months ago. We still have one last thing we are both rather commited to attending in a month and I wrote to him to suggest a way of making that more harmonious-he immediately imposed his own take it or leave it conditions. I suddenly had this awareness that this was him acting out his teenage survival skills (over and over) with his overbearing single mother. He was constantly fighting for his survival with me when our needs differed. Rather than seeing me as a friend and companion with different needs he would see me as the overbearing mom who wanted to squash he freedom with her own projects for him. That was healthy then, but now he’s just self-focused and narrow-visioned. I can sort of give him a good shaking and he sort of sees his own selfishness and acts differently for a day or a week, but then very instinctively gets right back into his self-track.
Emotionally stunted I would say.
I was the 4th of 5 kids, so very different experience of dealing with others’ needs. I err, sometimes, in the opposite direction without a doubt.
I am an only child and I am alredy messed up.
But I hate large families or even have a family at all Kids aww what can I said they made me miserable since I was a kid.
I have I thing just tow of the issues you mention on this post
the shearing thing yeah well shearing suCks but FACE it who for god sake likes thta another brat touch your things and gives it to you destoryed dirty
or with teeth marks on it? or worst never gives it back to you at all.
the pets thing yeah well I love love love cats dogs fish every single animal in the world but my mom dont so I just wait to live by my own to have my own pet.
about the control I desagree I know what my parents expect their little girl to be but I just dont care for it I do what I like to do and maybe that would be considered selfish but I am like that or what is worst I like to be like that.
currently dating an equivalent of an only child, his brother is 10 years older so there was no conflict of interest and his brother moved out young. He is stubborn and very critical, nothing is ever done right. I always compromise and if he ever does anything for me he holds it over me as if he has done the worlds greatest thing. And just to add to it he’s a homebody and I’m INCREDIBLY social. How are you suppose to deal with it? I love him dearly and they always give you that look when you get mad that makes you just melt and makes you feel like the bad guy but he just doesn’t get the idea of sharing, compromise or anything that requires thinking about anything other than himself.
I notice that the re-occuring theme here with EVERYBODY is that they are making ALL the concessions and the other person is making none. Amazing how that works, isn’t it.
the one thing that I’m noticing here is that EVERYONE is saying they are the ONLY one making the concessions and the other person is making none. Quite a coincidence. Quit blaming the only children and grow up. Everybody has issues.
So, I had a realization tonight, that the only serious relationships I’ve been in have been with those who are (dun dun dun) only children. Now being an only child… I wish someone would explain to me why I am attracted to only children. I wouldn’t particularly say that these relationships have ended because of them being only children… Coincidence? or am I really just attracted to young women who grew up alone like I did?
I’m an only child and all these are true, and very single. and it’s bloody hard meeting a man i can stand who can stand me! grrrr