After all these years…

After all the pain we’ve been through.

After waiting in obscene lines with hundreds of other equally pathetic women only to watch Titanic for the tenth time, thinking that somehow this time Rose might not be such a stingy lovestruck hag and would let you hop on that raft for a just couple seconds to escape a watery death.

After all the times I’ve turned a blind eye as you’ve blatantly cheated on me with many an anorexic  underwear model from various continent.

After all of this, I want you to know that I don’t just love you for the fact that you are trying to single-handedly save the planet one recyclable grocery bag at a time.

I love you in spite of that.

Environmentally unconsciously yours,

Blunt.

p.s  Is it bad if  I leave all the lights on in my house while I drive around in my Suburban and chuck plastic water bottles out the window for fun?