America, This Is How Much I Love Your Beautiful Face

I don’t get it. So you’re saying that when I said I was going to start posting on a Monday/Wednesday/Friday rotation, you thought that meant I was posting a blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday?

Clearly, we have communication issues.

And in the interest of breaking free from my passive-aggressive behavior, I will simply tell you that is precisely why we will never work out.

Luckily, now that I’ve had the holiday weekend to cool down and get myself back to neutral, I’m ready to talk to you again.

As you may or may not know, it was the 4th of July on Sunday. As you also may or may not know, it is my second favorite holiday despite the fact that it always lets me down either in quality of company or the always-anticipated- but-never-welcomed raping of my eardrums by the Neil Diamond sky concert. Either way, I still dig it.

Crackly sunburnt foreheads. Watermelon. People blowing up illegal stuff. Shirtless men holding a Bud Light while grilling an assortment of mystery proteins on their front porches. Apple pie. Coolers everywhere. A general sense of gratefulness bestowed upon our military. It’s as if the country gets one giant free pass to be a hillbilly.

That being said, my 4th of July celebration was pretty typical:

1. I ate Mexican food.

mexican-fourth-of-july

2. I wandered around a cemetary in search of the archaeologist that discovered King Tut’s tomb.

graveyard-rockford-il

3. I busted into an abandoned house while on an aimless photo-taking drive.

abandoned-house-rockford-il

Thinking back on it now, I might have thought it was Halloween.

You can check out the Creepy Abandoned House Part 1 pics here. Part two coming soon!

Hope your holiday was simply fabulous.