Blunt Bites: Somewhere Inbetween Victory And A White Flag

[ Blunt Bites break away from my normal, detailed posts. They are short snapshots of a significant part of my life. Sometimes, they’re serious. Sometimes, they’re funny. But they’re always gonna be delicious. Yum. ]

I had known it for a while, like the way my mom had known I shouldn’t get in the car that night.

You always know; but the thought of confronting you or telling anyone or proving it to myself just paralyzed me. Why? Because then, I would have to let you go. Because you were right – I’m not the kind of girl who lets a guy to mistreat her, although I wanted it to happen in some twisted, cosmic, full-circle kind of way.

Our history. It was sordid and confusing and wonderful. Magnetic. Full of passion and betrayal and a thousand beautifully broken things that came alive only when we were together. And after all of those years, I could not accept that to be the final curtain. It was never supposed to end that way. It was never supposed to end at all.

Maybe it was like when you’re five years old and you dress up as the rich, long-haired princess because deep down you know that pretending is as close as you’ll ever get.

As it turned out, we were both fantastic pretenders; although one of us – far more convincing. In the end, I felt many things; the most surprising of which was relief. Because who really wants to be a princess anyway? I always hated the color pink.

And I have way better hair.

If only I could have possibly fathomed how easily I would get over you.

Wondering where I went? I have returned to blogging over at my whole foods blog Celery and the City, where we live so clean it’s like your insides took a bath.

40 thoughts on “Blunt Bites: Somewhere Inbetween Victory And A White Flag

  1. I’m strangely finding myself in a similar situation. I guess it’s just weird how you thought things would turn out a certain way but in the way it turns into something completely unexpected. Wonderful post lovie.

    • oh yes, but isn’t that the beauty of life. the unexpected. and although the unexpected can blindside us and might seem terrible, we can usually look back on it and see that is how it should be. it might not have happened in the way we liked, but the end result is correct

  2. I so love when you make these Blunt Bites blog entries, girl.

    BEA-U-TIFUL! Love the title too!

    And there was something you said within this one that truly struck a cord in one of my own past relationships….

    “As it turned out, we were both fantastic pretenders; although one of us – far more convincing. In the end, I felt many things; the most surprising of which was relief. ”

    Same with me.

    Stunning photo! Did you take it? Reminds me of Anne Liebovitz.

    X

  3. Ouch. And awesome at the same time.

    I second what bschooled said — You took like… every angry chick song ever written and condensed it into that little, highly concentrated post. Intense. I’m kind of awe-struck over here.

  4. It’s never until you’re outside that you can take a real good look back inside, is it?

    I can relate to this in so many ways. You are a lovely writer.

  5. Reminds me of that Feist lyric:

    ‘ The saddest thing about a broken heart, isn’t the ending so much as the start’

    From my own childhood wardrobe experiences, dressing up and pretending to be a princess when you’re 5 years old because it will be the only time you’ll ever feel closest to the real thing, is definitely true. Take it from me.

    Though I am a man.

    Zing!

    (Thanks. I’ll take *funny weird also)

  6. “. . . and a thousand beautifully broken things that came alive only when we were together.”
    That line. . . ooooooh yeah. I get that line.

  7. Fabulous. I love it when I read something that puts words to a scene that once played out in my life. Most of us have been there. You gave it depth and feeling while reminding us of that one worst fairytale.

  8. Oh yeah….
    parting is such sweet sorrow……..and sometimes a whole lot healthier.
    Or is it just safer?
    I love this Blunt Bite but, like a good novel, I want the story to develop more.
    I want more.
    Maybe it’s time for a romance novel on my Kindle. Nah….
    Anyway…..I love this
    Hope your week ahead is beautiful.

  9. Hmmm… why is it that “magnetic” sometimes (… often?) also means “crazy”?

    And, yeah, the letting go and accepting the end is pretty freakin’ hard.

  10. Pingback: Is She a light sleeper too?

  11. loves this. for reasons i won’t get into. but you put it so beautifully, that’s a big reason. 🙂 you touch iddle bits inside me that make me feel better about life.
    but i’m pretty sure i don’t make much sense.
    let’s just say: thumbs up to that noise!

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