It started out like any other Wednesday night in my living room. Except my hip had just popped out of joint, and I was sitting across from my friend Jo, who was wearing an eye patch.
I’ll address your concerns later. But basically, she chemically burned her eye and my hip always pops out of joint, rendering me helpless for about an hour or so. The doctor said working out would help to prevent the problem. Translation: I’ll have this problem for life.
As we were talking about the travesties and paranoias of our lives, while simultaneously trying to diagnose our relational hang-ups, she went to the bathroom. So, I got up and started hopping down the hallway to my bedroom. As I bypassed Jo in the bathroom, the door was open and she was applying a face mask. Around the eye patch.
I’m not sure what it was about that extremely pathetic moment, but I started laughing so hard that my one good leg gave out on me. Then, Jo, like any wounded heroine, came over to assist me in walking down the hallway. Only problem was that my bum hip was on the right side and her bum eye was on the left.
One of our friends said, “Together you guys make the perfect pirate.”
I’m not sure if we make the perfect anything. Then, we sat on the couch, drank boxed wine out of plastic cups, while we commented on each others FaceSpace statuses about the events of the evening.
In other news, life has been busy. And, I’d like to attempt to explain it, but who has the energy? So, I’m going to give you a brief overview in pictures, compliments of my camera phone.
My dad gave my grandma Mother’s day flowers, except she didn’t have a vase. So he made one out of a lemon-lime pop container.
My best friends moved away to California, again. Except this time, they took their newborn with them! How dare they! I miss trying to eat his head.
This is how I looked for the entire week after the move. It could also be because there are two country finalists on American Idol.
Then, I ate nothing but carbs for a day or so. And my scale gave me a subliminal message.
I babysat this girl, and her little sister. I’ve had my fill of Tinkerbell, play-doh and pink stuff for the rest of my life.
I ran out of spoons. It didn’t slow me down.
I got my first Starbucks cake pop, and at first I was grossed out cus it looked like an eyeball. Then, I was just grossed out cus it was gross.
A lot of these pictures have to do with food. … I’m not sure what that means.
I’m gonna eat the rest of this sandwich and get back to ya.
Wondering where I went? I have returned to blogging over at my whole foods blog Celery and the City, where we live so clean it’s like your insides took a bath.
It’s always refreshing when someone can find humor in chaos. Sorry for your troubles, but the post made me giggle.
hey gail! first of all, thanks for stopping by! And eh, i wouldn’t really consider them troubles. Just more reasons to laugh at my ridiculous life. It was like a nursing home up in there
Living vicariously through your camera phone, love.
Shower time.
vicariously? or through video feed?
Were you watching SATC the movie or the show?
I, too, have been known to eat ice cream with a fork. There’s no shame in it. Flaunt it!
um, the show. puh lease. the movies are total crap.
Oh man! That sucks, but at least you had each other. Misery loves company (and boxed wine apparently. ;))
Those kid photos are frickin’ cute!
oh man. misery loves company and we are glued at the hip.
the good one, not the bum one.
I think maybe 90% of the pictures on my phone are of food. Probably because food is awesome.
I was totally thinking “Pirate!” before you said your friend said it. Damn it.
I watched all of SATC season 1 and the first episode of season 2 while painting my living room and hallway.
I should probably stop talking now.
do you ever wonder WHAT was going on with season 1?? how weird was that when carrie talked to the camera?
Awesome photos, B.D. – except that now I’m hungry.
Again.
Or still.
And I don’t have access to any spoons, either. Or Forks.
I do have opposable thumbs, though. Two of em. So I’m probably still in ‘bidness’. 🙂
hey thanks 😉 it’s times like those, without spoons, that i start to agree with my fiance that you just need 2 sets of silverware
Bummer on the hip. That is a ton of babies in one week. I think the carb load is necessary you needed that long term energy.
dude, TON of babies … they’re everywhere. it’s like they are in season or something
Your doctor is right. Put on a grass skirt and do the Hawaiian hip-shaking dance if you want to cure your problem. I’ll give you a tape of me playing the bongo drums. You won’t be able to stop shaking your booty when you hear it.
baaaaaahahahaha. oh cousin…you are so bananas.
get it?
“Together you guys make the perfect pirate” Classic line.
you = jealous
love it! ok um yea so that pic you took of yourself while in a car was taken while you were securely parked and the car was turned off….right?! please don’t tell me it was while you were on the highway going 85!
you never know.
That is so true… I love that you can find blunt candor in your…hiccups… we just have to sometimes, for me, it makes me life whole, without the candor and laughter (even if at my expense).. I would be on Prozac!
i know right? it’s just something you’ve got to do in order to get through. besides, life is lame otherwise
YAY…a fellow cake-pop hater 🙂 I love cake pops simply because I get a TON of orders for them and they make me money…but I don’t get the obsession. They are just plain gross! Add that to our list of dislikes, right under Mayonaisse 🙂
dude, it was so gross.
like, mushy inside, and waaaaay too sweet on the outside. gross
Blunt, Blunt, Blunt….you CRACK ME THE HELL UP!!!!
The photo of the carbs you ate was not only hilarious, but YUMMY-LOOKING. You see, I’m addicted to carbs so I’d be right there with you. That pizza looked faaaaaabulous, btw.
One of these of days when you and I eventually meet, you gotta swear that we’ll sit down with a bottle of wine and watch SATC episodes, okay? I’m thinking I gotta just invest in purchasing the whole series because I’m tired of renting it.
Oh and….
“I got my first Starbucks cake pop, and at first I was grossed out cus it looked like an eyeball. Then, I was just grossed out cus it was gross.”
THANK YOU! I had one of those when they were giving them out in Starbucks to introduce them. GROSS!
Have a great weekend, bestie…..x
you + me + jo (cus you’ll luuuuurve her too) + SATC + carbs = PERFECT
dude, cake pops are DISGUSTING. they are mushy on the inside, too sweet on the outside. sick.
*sigh* Why did they have to make it look so much like an eye? I mean really.
hahahhah. sorry rhema. SO MANY difficulties in this post for you, i realize
OK, phew, you are still here. Just doing a drive-by to check to see if any bloggers have been beamed up to heaven. Hmm, didn’t think so!
nope, still alive and kickin.
well, not really. i got the bum hip
Oh yeah bum hip. Sheez Blunt, I hope when the Mothership arrives you can make it in time ,with your bum hip and all !
I’d take an eye patch over a bum hip any day. argh!
i don’t know. my hip got better, but that eye laid her up for like a week. all she could do was sleep :/
…with one eye open!!!!
Eye patch vs. bum hip? I actually wouldn’t mind an eye patch and then I’d decorate it and make it funky lol! I keep seeing those cupcake things from starbucks and I’m so glad you told me they were awful because I wasn’t willing to spend money on some weird looking cake stuff. But….dots cupcakes….their red velvet and chocolate mint cupcake……one word: awesome.
dude, don’t spend the money – huge waste! cupcakes of any kind, on the other hand are ALWAYS worth it. 😉
I’ve been missing your crazy life. I’ve been too caught up in my own crazy life to comment on anyone else’s. Whenever I start overindulging in carbs and spending too much time on Facebook, I know I’m in trouble. Sadly, this is a regular occurrence. I tried one of those little cupcakes at Starbucks. I was not impressed.
aw jen! missing you these days! i’ve been CRAZY too. no idea, i mean NO IDEA where may went.
Apparently I have a popped rib. It hasn’t stopped me from doing too much, aside from avoiding mild pain when breathing, but it also didn’t get better after an hour so… it’s kinda the same right? RIGHT??
popped rib???
that doesn’t sound delicious at all.
You two are a pair, that’s for sure. A pair of WHAT, exactly, isn’t quite as clear. . . I bet you’re the most HILARIOUS babysitter. I know how much you enjoy playing with barbies.
weird cus i hated barbies as a child.
meh.
What’s this about Starbucks and Popsicles? I’m confused. Do they cost $10 or something? I guess if Popsicles from Starbucks ended up costing $10 it would make more sense to me.
I try to eat cute baby’s heads too. But mostly in private.
Also – American Idol is just unwatchable to me. I couldn’t tell you why. I like music and I like singing, but this show somehow ruins both simultaneously.
Honestly, the only thing worth getting at starbucks (snack wise) are the double fudge brownies or whatever they are called.
Yum.
“basically, she chemically burned her eye” Oh damn! *cringe* That’s the kind of stuff that I wish upon my enemies. Poor cute Jo. I would imagine that you two DO make one thing very well together – and that’s trouble. Muwhahaha!
Hey, I could swear I left a comment here last week about that scary looking popsicle. Hmmmm…. and didn’t I ask you a question? or was I dreaming??
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