Plus Sides To Dating A Heroin Addict

Confessions June 16, 2011
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Well, there’s always ice cream in the fridge. And I don’t know if we’ve been introduced but that’s kind of a big deal. That’s about it. Oh, did I say side(s)? Unintentional mislead, sorry. So, with lightening speed we’re encroaching upon the worst time of the year: my birthday. For those who’ve been around awhile, [...]

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An Open Letter To The Dentist

Confessions June 9, 2011
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Last week, I posted a picture of my dad eating his ice cream with a butter knife because he was too impatient to wait for the spoon. What I failed to tell you was that when I commented on it, he said, “It’s not that big of a deal. Yesterday, I ate my yogurt with [...]

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Life Lately In Pictures: Failures Brought To You By My Camera Phone

Confessions June 3, 2011
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I had like 7 dreams last night. First, I was shot in the stomach and pulled the bullet out myself, while driving to the hospital. Then, I was being chased through the jungle by kidnappers. Then, I was eating cupcakes in my mom’s kitchen as I watched my dad get assaulted in the backyard. Now [...]

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Bachelorette 2011 Premiere Recap: Meet The Bachelors [A Video Reenactment]

Confessions May 25, 2011
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If one was reading a book about my life, one might come across a chapter with a lot of crap about reality TV. You guys know that my very first paid writing job was writing recaps for reality TV shows, right? Ohhhhh hecks yes. Then, it’s like reality TV threw up all over my life [...]

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Life Lately In Pictures: Brought To You By My Camera Phone

Confessions May 20, 2011
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It started out like any other Wednesday night in my living room. Except my hip had just popped out of joint, and I was sitting across from my friend Jo, who was wearing an eye patch. I’ll address your concerns later. But basically, she chemically burned her eye and my hip always pops out of [...]

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My So-Called Life: If I Could Go Back

Confessions May 13, 2011
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With the addition of Netflix into one’s household comes a whole lot of baggage. Like, say, for instance, the fact that I’m re-watching the entire series of My So-Called Life and it’s bringing up a lot of tortured memories. Like how much I’m still in unrequited love with Jordan Catalano and secretly hoping we’ll run [...]

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It’s A Good Thing My Mom Doesn’t Know What A Computer Is

Confessions May 5, 2011
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You may or may not have noticed that I write about my dad on here quite a bit. Everything from his complete and inexcusable ridiculousness to how he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. But, here’s the thing: my mom is just as cool. Isn’t that just a disgusting problem to have? In the middle [...]

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Royal Wedding Disaster: Prince William’s Other Woman

Confessions April 26, 2011
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Listen. I’m not one to burst happiness bubbles. I’m a firm believer that if left alone, they will always burst on their own. So I just worry about brushing my teeth and not getting heart disease and everything else will fall into place. But. There are times when people just need to know the truth. [...]

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My Cardiac Health Risk Screening: A Video Reenactment

Confessions April 20, 2011
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So, remember when I talked about how I have 7 legitimate, self-diagnosed diseases? Well, one of those was heart disease. I was having chest pains, shortness of breath, tightness in my upper back and fatigue. I mean, you tell me? As any responsible citizen, I set up a cardiac health risk screening to see how [...]

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Blunt Bites: The Lady At The Cafe In London

Blunt Bites April 18, 2011
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[ Blunt Bites break away from my normal, detailed laugh-out-loud (right?) posts. They are like snapshots of a significant part of my life. Sometimes, they're serious. Sometimes, they're funny. But they're always gonna be delicious. Yum. ] I was living in London at the time. One night, some friends and I decided to eat dinner at an [...]

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