I had the most horrifying dream of my life last night. I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart was pounding, thoughts were racing… Usually, I don’t have nitemares of this magnitude, but this was a rare exception. The content of this dream may not be suitable for viewers under the age of 17. So [...]
So if there’s one thing that might force me to relinquish all respect for my mother, it would be that she loves Neil Diamond. And black licorice. Both, unforgivable offences. If you didn’t know, Neil made a guest appearance on tonight’s Grammies. I wasn’t warned of this, obviously. This gave me no choice but to [...]
I remember the first time I went to a shrink. My boyfriend at the time insisted I go since I was making him go. The difference between him and I was that he had lost his mind and I was an innocent bystander to his madness. But being the five-star girlfriend I was, I went anyway. As long [...]
Let me start by saying that I currently drive a plum-colored ‘99 Saturn with duct tape on the hood. The purpose of the duct tape is to cover an actual hole in my hood that was created when I veered into the shoulder and crashed into a road sign, which fell on my car and [...]
I am a stay-at-home, unshowered writer and aspiring author of non-fiction books. During the past 10 years, I attended college in London, traveled the world, and dated a myriad of inappropriate men. Although I have successfully avoided crossing over that shaky, domestic bridge laden with overpriced weddings and screaming babies, I have still acquired a strong appreciation for sweatpants. I enjoy photography and chronicling my ridiculous life on this personal blog, where I also use my friends' lives for a cheap laugh. My biggest fears are mayonnaise and Neil Diamond.
That's sort of what this blog is about. Sort of. But don't hold me to it, or I'll get all claustrophobic.
You are welcomed with open arms and lukewarm sentiment.
