Confessions

Blunt Bites: It Always Comes Down To That One Day

Blunt Bites August 29, 2011

[ Blunt Bites break away from my normal, detailed posts. They are short snapshots of a significant part of my life. Sometimes, they're serious. Sometimes, they're funny. But they're always gonna be delicious. Yum. ] Riding the Underground to I don’t know where, I was writing in my journal and thinking of how well I fit into [...]

Understanding Right-Brainers: The Curse Of The Creative

Confessions August 16, 2011

Last night, I had a shocking revelation that I’m cursed. This is even more serious than my nearly fatal, almost-heart-attack and 7 other legitimate, self-diagnosed diseases, except not really. Have I lost you already? Interesting. Maybe it’s because you’re cursed too. Although, I have fruit loops as my screen saver, so I would take my [...]

36 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Death, Donuts, And A Cigarette In The Morning

Confessions August 11, 2011

I kept a journal over the past week, to help process my thoughts. It’s not the most uplifting, but, it’s life. 8.4.11 {Donuts.} I’m writing this while at the hospital, laying on the bed across from my grandpa. He’s been gasping for breath and finally admits that the smoking got the best of him – [...]

55 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Gandhi’s Top 4 Tips On How To Have A Crappy Blog

Confessions July 27, 2011

I realize it’s possible that a few of you might have been slightly distracted by the crumbling economy and possible impending doom of our country’s unresolvable debt crisis, therefore you might not have been tuned into the Discovery channel like I was last weekend. And that means, you missed the recent archaeological discovery of a [...]

65 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

The Day I Met Tom Cruise And NBC

Confessions July 18, 2011

Sometimes she will say, “I think I’m losing my mind, Brit. I don’t know up from down anymore.” Then I’ll look at her, smile, and ask, “Which way is up?” She points to the sky; I call her a liar and she laughs. It’s the most appropriate human response I have to fact that she [...]

63 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Fun Fair = A Loose Interpretation Of Both Fun And Fair

Confessions July 14, 2011

I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a fair or not. Here in the Midwest, fairs are kind of a big deal. It’s all the farmers and corn and cows and stuff. Thus, I have very specific expectations in mind when a “fair” is involved. There needs to be a hint of funnel cakes [...]

54 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

WANTED: Gray Haired African-American Man With Saxophone Skills

Confessions July 8, 2011

[Because it's was my birthday, and because I'm refinishing cabinets and I started a new job, I'm recycling an oldie. If you remember this post, congratulations. You're two years older and still like reading pointless stuff on the INTERNETS.] I’m currently babysitting my best friend’s 6 month old. Yes, the same best friend who pumps breast [...]

72 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

The Universe Is Allergic To Me Turning 29

Confessions June 30, 2011

Every year, without fail, June 25th comes creeping in to steal away another year of my life and inconspicuously plant two more gray hairs that I won’t discover until I’ve just eaten an entire Little Caesars pizza at 10am and I go into the bathroom and notice them under the florescent lights. Oh, just me? Although, [...]

53 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Warning: Don’t Google Yourself Or You Might Find This

Confessions June 24, 2011

Listen, there are concrete reasons why I don’t Google myself. These reasons hold steadfast to the three fundamental principles of my character: avoidance, denial and laziness. The first time I broke this rule was last night. I’ve been breaking a lot of self-imposed rules lately. And, I’ve definitely learned my lesson. Maybe, someday, I’ll tell you [...]

53 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

Plus Sides To Dating A Heroin Addict

Confessions June 16, 2011

Well, there’s always ice cream in the fridge. And I don’t know if we’ve been introduced but that’s kind of a big deal. That’s about it. Oh, did I say side(s)? Unintentional mislead, sorry. So, with lightening speed we’re encroaching upon the worst time of the year: my birthday. For those who’ve been around awhile, [...]

40 comments Don’t even act like you’re done reading…. → by Blunt Delivery

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