Chances Are, I’m A Pervert [Plus Another Announcement]

Posted on August 1st, 2009 at 8:07 pm by blunt delivery

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Chances Are, I’m A Pervert [Plus Another Announcement]

Today, while at a routine stop at the Goodwill, I put these three items on the counter.  They were exactly what I was looking for.  We don’t have the time nor resources to get into the logistics of exactly why I needed this combination of items, but one could assume that I’m a third degree pervert who is planning on using exhibits A & B to lure a small child into my presence in order to lock them inside of exhibit C. 

Based on the death glare I got from the Cashier, that’s definitely my plan.  [as if she's one to judge]

But that’s not why we’re here.  Wait, why are we here?  No, really, I was hoping you’d have the answer cus….

Listen.  I know, I know.  I don’t write a blog for, like, decades and all the sudden here I am with the one-two punch.  But see, that’s how it works around here.  This isn’t a “real” blog, this is more of an update.  Housekeeping, if you will.  I have been a bit MIA around the blogosphere lately, and it’s not because you’re getting on my every last nerve.  Although…

As some of you may know, I lost my job last fall.  No, there’s no blog that I can refer you to so that you can read about this seemingly dreadful but actually wonderful experience; however, that is definitely something I’ll add to my list.  Cus Holy Crapballs, that was messed up.  If you’ve lost your job recently, and there’s a good chance that you have - especially if you live in my dumpster of a state  - you’ll understand what I’m about to say.

Losing your job can mean all sorts of things: a chance to reinvent yourself, an opportunity to do something you really love, a new start, or a spiraling depression that leaves you wallowing in self pity.  For me, it meant all of the above.  This brings me to my point, and yes, I have one this time.  After I ate every morsel of hidden [but apparently not very well] holiday candy, watched every unfortunate chick flick that I owned - twice, and spent the better half of two months unshowered and locked away in darkness, I slowly managed to yank myself out impending doom and decided to pursue writing.  It is, after all, the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do - even though I tried almost every other option.  That process has been the most tragically-unfortunate-and-frightening-experience-turned-wonderful-surprise of my life.  And I’m determined to make it work.  Because well, if you have even the smallest chance of being able to do what you love - you should.  Enough with the fear.  Enough with the procrastination.  Enough with the negativity.  With that being said, go make yourself happy already - even though it might mean you’re broke for awhile about a year.  ***Also, in the midst of this pursuit, combined with an excess of time on my hands, I’ve also discovered another passion I’m quite siked about, but one thing at a time here.

So my point is.. crap.  Hold on. 

I had to check my notes.  My point is…. that I’ve been busy lately working on “business stuff.”   And that would be a major understatement.  So, remember how I used to have that freelance writing website that was really super duper ghetto?  Psssh.  Guess who ain’t ghetto no mo?   That was just a temporary site [ come ON, a little credit please? ] and I’ve been slaving away on a dashing new web presence, among about fifty other pressing matters. 

words-by-brit-avatar1You can check it out at  wordsbybrit.com.

Also, several of you have asked me if I would post the stories I had published in Chicken Soup for the Soul, but I was far too lazy.  So CHECK IT, I now have links to the PDF’s, which can be found on the new website under the portfolio page.  There are only links to “A Semester in London” [ about a boy who changed my life ] and “Picture Perfect New Years Resolution” [ about how I don't make resolutions ] - the most recent one doesn’t come out til in Dec.  They are about as mushy and sentimental as you could hope for from someone like myself. 

So after you find yourself brimming with amazement at my handiwork, can you forgive my tardiness?  And yes, I have an even BIGGER announcement, which has taken up the majority of my time, but you’ll have to get your panties back in a bundle for that.

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