Several years ago, I received a book in the mail on my birthday. I hate birthdays, but I love books. So you can imagine my elation, when I discovered that I’d have a new addition, which I would never read, to adorn my shelf. To fully understand this concept, please read my explanation on How To Live The Best Fake Life You Can Imagine.
“How exciting!” I thought. A photography book, perhaps? A biography of a classic Hollywood actress, whose black and white movies I refuse to watch? Oh, what ever could it be!?
I ripped it open and read the title: “Restless Heart.”
Huh.
When I flipped open the cover, it read: “To: B. Happy Birthday.” It had been exactly one year since I’d broken up with Paris guy / Italian guy. Oh…Really? Now, how many times do I have to tell you that my restless heart is not to blame for the fact that you were a crazy psycho who tried to sabotage all my friendships in a jealous fit of rage and tried to propose to me after I told you I wanted nothing to do with marriage?
But I’ll tell you what my restless heart is to blame for: my new blog layout. OH, you didn’t notice cus you’ve abandoned me? But seriously, I know it threw a few of you off. Basically, my latest post will be the one farthest to the left in the block of pics in the featured section. Then as I write new ones, they will slowly migrate to the right, got it? Phew, crisis averted. Am I back in your good graces?
I realize that my restlessness might have been an itty bitty problem over the years. Although several good things have also come out of my constant desire to pursue bigger and better things, it can be a bit exhausting. I mean, it shouldn’t take a normal person, with a 4.0 GPA, 5 years to get through 3 years of college. Among the careers I attempted to pursue, I was, at one point going to be a psychologist, which I counselled myself out of because it would have taken too long to get a PH.D, which by now, I could have been done with.
Then I wanted to be a lawyer, because one of my many God-given gifts is the ability to win arguments and a razor sharp memory like a mighty panther cat. But the thought of all those school loans, sent me into cold sweats. I can’t commit to dinner plans, much less a lifetime of debt.
Oh, then there was the time I went to massage therapy school, after almost losing my mind, so that I could have a stress-free job. But, something or someone pissed me off. I’m not exactly sure what happened there… I believe I told the Dean that I had a family emergency and I’d be out of town for awhile - so if she could refund my classes that would be great.
Then after coming back from London, I started a retail store in my local mall. What was I thinking? I’ll tell you what I was thinking: Well, I always wanted to own my own store, so hey, how about now? After a couple years, and never having worked in retail before, I hated it. So I waited until after Christmas, took my giant surplus of money, and ran for the hills.
As you might imagine, the career changes and wasted college time, don’t end there. But seriously, how long is this program? Fast forwarding a few years, it all led back to my third grade plan: writing. Why did I ever second guess myself? Who knows. But that would have made for a rather boring blog. Speaking of boring…
MY MOST FAVORITEST COMMENT OF THE WEEK:
Comes from Bearman @ Beartoons.com, on my blog Dear Midwest, Without You I’d Be Famous:
Besides, if you moved, you might actually find true happiness and then your blog would be really boring to read.
By the way, he has a charity drive going on for Freestore Foodbank, where he will donate money based on different things that his readers do, such as tweeting or blogging about the challenge. What an easy way to help a good cause. Check it out!
Loved the post, thanks for sharing.
June 9th, 2009 → 8:11 pm
[...] Restless Heart: A Charming Tale Of Time Wasted [...]
June 16th, 2009 → 4:22 am
[...] hilarious. #17 - What are you, some kind of freak? #3 - Oh, boy. If you had any idea how much you won’t be accomplishing this. Ever. So, please don’t try. Again, focus on [...]
August 1st, 2009 → 8:07 pm
[...] and decided to pursue writing. It is, after all, the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do - even though I tried almost every other option. In the midst of this pursuit, combined with an excess of time on my hands, I’ve also [...]
August 8th, 2009 → 2:58 am
[...] Wha? Okay, I’m no scientist, in fact, I didn’t even finish the 6 various colleges and trade schools that I started - but that IS WAY bigger than a Kleenex. And now that I think about it, I’m also too cheap [...]