“I mean, would you rather hear stories about…that time I accidentally tucked toilet paper into my skirt.”

Or that time you PURPOSEFULLY tucked toilet paper in your bra.

“And wouldn’t you know, I woke up the next morning with a raging sore throat and a stuffy nose - AND less money than I had the day before. I discovered two things:”

A. You need more vitamin C
B. Your mom comes over just to steal money from your wallet when you are sick.

Ha Ha Ha!! I just love your Mom!

Did you forget your meds today? This post was totally nutso - all over the place. I totally adore your randomness!

Wet Wipes don’t do the trick. I think you need the antibacterial wipes, I don’t know their name, but that’s what I would suggest. And also, wiping the cart handle would probably make more sense than wiping your hands AFTER having handled said cart. Because, chances are you’re probably touching your eyes, nose, mouth and whatever else with your hands while you shop, in which case, washing them afterwards does nothing except give you a very false sense of accomplishment.

Do you feel better now?

You’re welcome!

Mothers are the best for providing good quality humor. At our age, they are priceless for so many reasons but one of the more important is for pure entertainment value.
Next time have the sick friend and kid stay home. You know there is a swine flu pandemic going on. Not quite pandemic but with the calls for hoarding foodstuffs and medicines the media would sure like us to believe it. I for one will be building my bunker and stockpiling. Oh, on second thought, that sounds like way too much work. I’ll just buy some of those wet ones and call it a day.

You called? Crazy is now in da house!

So, yes I think American Idol is rigged, look at all the preceeding years. Do you honestly think that America (just like in Canadian Idol) voted off a male and then female each week leaving one guy and one girl at the top? Like really, how many seasons hasn’t that been the case?

If you don’t want to get sick, stay away from sick people As it is though, seeing as you are sick, I hope you get better very soon!

Cheers

“hibernation is the secret to financial freedom and a healthy lifestyle.”

I’ve been in solid hibernation since losing my job last November. Not only have I spent considerably less coin under house arrest, but the 10am wakeup has made me a physical bull.

Of course, at this point I’d spew nonsense on polar ice caps for a 10 spot and a free lunch. Hell, I’m sitting around in pajama pants at 2 in the afternoon writing tributes to friggin’ Bea Arthur. Obviously, something has to change.

MVD - no. freaking. way. i totally lost my job in november as well. and it’s been fabulous.

see, now you’ve got to find a way to be able to stay in your pj’s all day and get paid like me. then we can be losers together.

haha, well Jen. don’t worry, my mother calls me every night analyzing my symptoms..so if i have the slightest hint of the swine flu - i’ll be sure to know.

welll now skye… i’m not so sure. we had two guys last year in the finals?? and i’m sure it will be that way this year, cus all the girls suck big time. wait, but more importantly, are you CANADIAN?? how did i not know this before.

Yep, I am a Canuck, Blunt, how you didn’t know I don’t know, unless you didn’t read my profile! And notice I said “how many” not all of them…lol. I do believe that last year and this are the exception. Danny Goke and Adam Lambert will be top 2, but Adam was dumped to bottom 2 because he’s been getting too much hype. They had to make it look like nobody is safe. Besides, at this stage of the game, everyone already has gotten or been approached for contracts, it’s just a matter of time now.

“would you rather hear stories about my crazy-paranoid mother and my schitzo ex-boyfriends” OH HELL YES! I would much rather here these stories. My favorite stories are the ones that involve your mother. “He’s very attractive, too bad he’s gay.” lmao. Your family could have its own sitcom I’m certain of it

blunty you want me to make you some special brochitis/cough/fever/ailment-fighting tea?

I love Wet Ones, dont know where i’d be without them! I carry one travel pack in each of my bags (i have a lot of bags)… the things with the Idol chain is that you dont necessarily want to win it you want to come 2nd. At least here in Australia, the ones that won Aussie Idol have either been a one hit wonder or non-existent from the morning after but those that have come 2nd are the oens that are really hitting it big time.

I love Canadia, cant wait to go back there.

The snuggie isn’t even the best blanket with arms! I present you with a true comparison of all blankets with arms. Apparently you want a Slanket.

Anyway, moms are good at worrying way too much about their kids, no matter the age. But I definitely yell at my mom anytime she calls me too early on a weekend.

the snuggie certainly does not help terrorists hate us any less.

Yep. My mom wipes the shopping cart down like it was a Hummer with chrome rims and she has a hot date for Saturday night. I’m in the checkout line and she’s still at it.

I’m not taking her shopping anymore and no, ma, I don’t need a turtleneck. It’s May.

Great blog!

Ugh - the parents showing up at 7:45 am thing used to happen to me all the time. If they didn’t show up I got a phone call. And everytime my Mom would say

“So… are you ALONE?”

I don’t know if she was relieved or disappointed with my answer.

I thought it was a “slanket”.

Does it make you feel better to know that your relationship with your mother is much healthier than a certain one in which I will not identify the members of? huh?

My favorite memory of Bea Arthur is Adam Sandler’s character from the movie “Airheads.” If you recall, when they were holding up the radio station, his one ransom demand was a naked picture of Bea Arthur.

May she rest in peace.

Hilarious blog! Thanks for the laugh. By the way, you’re mom is the bomb. Takes care of you AND is cool enough to watch Idol and knows Adam is gay. My parents refuse to watch Idol.

Jeez Brit … I can’t believe you actually own a “Golden Girls” t-shirt. Where’d you get it? Wait let me guess. They were giving them away for free at Wal-mart with every purchase of “Depends”!

Am I right?

excuse me, i ordered it off a very exclusive online boutique. thats exactly what it looks like too. its sweet action

How can I get a piece of that sweet action? I hope you’re feeling better! I woke up this morning to a baby with a poop covered back. Jealous?

You sure have a interesting mom. I use to love just listening to my mom.Make sure you give her a hug and than give her a wet one. tee hee

LLOL. You crack me up. Adam Lambert gives me the creeps…

Not that I buy into all of this swine flu hype, but I slap one of those Wet Ones onto my right palm when I go out in public so I won’t pick up anything when somebody shakes my hand…people often remark that my hand is “clammy” but we’ve got to take prudent measures here and there.

Yes, and your mom’s onto something…you got the sniffles and that just proves it. ALL HAIL THE WET ONE! (Hope nobody takes that out of context.)
And those Snuggies, what genius came up with that? We had those when we were kids at Halloween…it’s a white sheet with arm holes and two cut outs for the eyes!

LOL!!….
The snuggie!….Ha!…
Every time I see a commercial for that thing I can’t help but visualize the person sitting in anticipation for their pizza delivery…..jumping up, stumbling across the house to greet the delivery guy, and still donning that contraption.
Or on a darker note…..the house is on fire and as they are trying to escape, stumbling and tripping on their snuggie because they refuse to take it off….only to have it catch fire and be the cause of their demise.

Oh for gosh sake, don’t do it! Don’t let you mother buy one of those…for you or your dad. If nothing else….they are ugly.